At the end of the day, a successful friendship will prove to involve good morals

This morning I examined my Facebook page, as I do at least once or twice a day, and I scroll through all the posts until I get to where I left off before. And let me say, I think most of my friends have priorities that are different from mine. And I think that I have given subtle, (or sometimes not so subtle) hints that I don't like what they are posting. So the question becomes, do I unfriend them? And here I have to say, when someone posts and posts and posts about their same shpeel, and nobody else can get in, I unfollow them, without unfriending them.

And I have to wonder, by the same token, are there those who are friends with me that don't always appreciate what I have to say? What I am leading to, is that in all friendships, there's a connection. I saw my mom and dad argue and argue sometimes, because one saw a situation one way, and the other saw it quite a different way. But it was important to them to get closure on whatever they were discussing. Their relationship, their thoughts on a subject, and clarifying both their thoughts, and the importance of their relationship was worth taking time over.

And so we have what our government calls "checks and balances system" at work in every friendship. We measure to what extent do we disagree with someone, how important is it to us to make what we think known, and ultimately, how valuable is the friendship?

And so, if refraining from judging people is important to us (it is very important to me), then we will be gentle with our friends if we think they are mistaken about something. If longevity in friendships is important to us (again, very important to me), then we will not quit out on a friend because of their misdeeds, whether many or few. We will go the distance. Forgiveness and forbearance, letting offenses go, letting offenses have no power over us will lead to healthy, resilient friendships.

And of course, the motor that gives friendship power, and that draws us into friendships and gives us the ability to remain friends, is LOVE.

♬   Ashton, Becker, Dente: Song of Reconciliation

State of the Union according to A True Friend

Hello friends! Well, Christmas Eve and I am doing NOTHING. I am hanging out with you guys at this point. Let me tell you all, with the shape the world is in today I think every single one of us inhabitants of the earth needs a miracle. Each one of us is in some type of situation where something has spiraled out of control, and we feel we cannot regain control of it. The sexual thing. I know you know how I feel about that. People want to go to bed with everybody they see and meet. There is this heightened sexual awareness between men and women now, and it has become more important than any other thing in most people's lives. Years ago, girls were afraid to have sex because they didn't want to get pregnant. After that, laws got passed that young girls could have access to birth control and also to abortions. Now, in this present day and age, it has come about that there is no longer any shame involved in having children out of wedlock.

This has scarred the education system. Our education system has a whole new face from what it once was. Very few people complete a proper high school program and get a high school diploma. Most commonly, kids drop out, do absolutely whatever the heck they feel like, and the result is that many end up if not in jail, then working minimum wage jobs, and the lucky ones might just make it back to get a GED and learn some kind of profitable trade. But I will say, many many people in reputable professions do not have any kind of thorough understanding of their field at all. None.

And what do we do? We have a society the whole world over that is dumber than people were 100 years ago. And nobody is even addressing any of these issues at all. My thoughts... that go through my head as I plod through these nonsensical days of my life.

Good night,
and Merry Christmas yes yes

♬   Deniece Williams: It's Gonna Take a Miracle

Christmas song downloads via A True Friend on Facebook

Hi! Since I have a few people who have liked my A True Friend Facebook page, I decided to keep my A True Friend Facebook page in the mix by offering my list of song downloads through it. So if you click facebook.com/HighPositionOfFriend you will be taken to my whole A True Friend page, and I pinned to the top the link to my Dropbox, Christmas 2014, which is a list of Christmas songs for free download. They are the same songs as what I posted here yesterday, but these are the download links. So I hope everybody has a nice holiday.

Always Your Friend,
Raya

Happy Holidays from A True Friend

Merry Christmas everybody! This year once again, I have a Christmas playlist for you. It's a slightly different collection from last year, but I think I have pulled together songs that express the basics of the Christmas season.

Here is Chris Brown's "This Christmas"




Here is Amy Grant's "Breath of Heaven"




Amy Grant again with "Tennessee Christmas"




Here's Gene Autry singing "Here Comes Santa Claus





Here's Jim Brickman and Susan Ashton doing a very special one, "The Gift"




Here's Julie Andrews singing "Joy to the World"




With the same type of loving spirit, here's Carly Simon doing "The Night Before Christmas"




Sung very tenderly, here's Kari Jobe with "O Little Town of Bethlehem/Away in a Manger"




A different angle on Christmas, but still an integral part of it for most people, Joni Mitchell singing "River"




This is the song I used for the Christmas video I shared in the blog immediately prior to this, Josh Groban with "What Child is This"




And, no Christmas goes by without hearing this one, Bing Crosby with "White Christmas"




Hope this blog is going to be functional. I am unable to check it because I am creating it in a humble little cellular. So what I think I'm going to do is, in addition to this, make a separate blog with the URLs for the song downloads. Anyways I wish everybody a nice Christmas for those who celebrate it. For those who don't, take heart in the fact that I have no incredible plans for how I'm going to spend Christmas either. I know my Dad might stop by. But I think my boyfriend is probably going out to spend Christmas with his mom and his brothers. And as far as food, on Thanksgiving they gave us nothing even remotely related to turkey, so it's anybody's guess whether they'll have a dinner for us or not.

Then, January is a bit of a difficult month for many people. Not sure exactly why. But I have read that January has the highest percentage of suicide attempts and suicides. And my suicide attempt from which I became disabled happened on January 7, 1985. Yeah. I'm old. So being aware of this I have to strongly recommend that if you have been feeling sad, and if you have been having a hard time shaking off the feeling of sadness, please try and... I don't know what to say... get help? Sometimes trying to get help, and the rotten people that are in the helping profession can push you into an even more intense state of despair. I will say then, write down your feelings. Get yourself a diary, or just a simple notebook, and write down everything are feeling. That's what I did when a boyfriend broke up with me many many years ago. I took my class notebook that I did my homework in, and I continued to do my homework, but I also wrote about what I was going through, because I felt that it was a part if me just like my homework and my assignment list and everything else I needed to write down. And it worked for me. I was able to get through a very difficult time. Later on in my life I started abusing marijuana, and the drugs were the catalyst why I had a nervous breakdown and went nuts. And that was something where my brain, sadly, will never be the same.

Anyways you have A True Friend here. And I care.

What Child is This (Josh Groban)

Have A Talk With God (Stevie Wonder)

Those of you who have read this blog from the time of its origins may recall that this blog was first intended to be a sort of refuge, a resting place for the underdog. I was reaching out to those whose lives had not gone so smoothly. I know what it feels like to have that knawing in your head that makes you dread the events of a day. I have felt like an oddball before. I have said and done some shocking things. Some offensive things. Some ridiculous things. Therefore, I am well familiar with rejection. And if you have some thoughts that, if I knew things that you have done, if I knew the way you were living, even maybe if I knew some of the things you are hoping for, then I would no longer like you. Even if it were true, yet I have this video, where God is telling you he wants to listen. As you watch this video, tap into the realization that God knows your story from beginning to end, and he wants to give you healing and change the things in your life that are upsetting you. He wants to give you the right life you dream of.

Online friends, or offline friends?

It has finally come to my attention that those who care for me the most, first of all my Dad, then Andre (my boyfriend) and his family, and very importantly, the people who give me hands on care every day here in my assisted living home, are taking a back seat in my list of priorities to my online friends. It is so easy to be the person I long to be when I am conversing with people who are not right here with me. People who I can choose the photos I will post, and delete the ones that don't look so nice. Of course, online relationships are the winners.

The greater challenge is to be A True Friend in my real life. Online, I think very carefully how I can avoid hurting or offending someone. Offline, this is not the case. Oftentimes I don't give a second thought to how my behavior measures up to what Jesus has commanded me to be and do. And these are the people who truly love me. These are the people in whose lives I am able to make much more of an impact.

I believe God would want me to first and foremost be sensitive to the people who are in my life every day. I need to be just as careful to avoid being rude to the people who are here in the building with me, as I take care not to be rude to my followers and friends on facebook and twitter and such.

It's a matter for prayer and a change in what I am the most committed to. Sometimes, when I am involved in something online that has to do with politics, it's easy to talk myself into believing that what I am doing is more important than addressing issues that demand my attention at the present moment. Untrue. There is nothing that should be more important than doing what I am being called upon to do in the immediate.

♬   The Clash: Should I Stay or Should I Go

The Love of Christ

The Love Of Christ
By Wes King

Incomparable kindness to less than the least
To the broken, the battered, and weak
To all who are hungry there comes a call
To be filled with the fullness of God
It's beyond all you can see
Farther than you would believe
It's a mystery
My prayer for you is that you would know

How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ

The width of two arms outstretched on a tree
The length of the road to Calvary
The height of the crown on a cruel cross
The depth of the pain is the cost
All for you, all for me
All for love did He bleed
All to set us free
My prayer for you is that you would know

How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ

How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ

How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ

How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ

How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ

How deep is the love

♬  Wes King: The Love of Christ

Perspective

Do you believe that time heals all wounds? Some people believe it, and some don't  If you stay positive, and really love your friends from the heart, over time, you will notice that they grow to love you back. After a while, even those who you feel deeply wronged you, you will cease to resent. Because when God is in control, "no weapon formed against you shall prosper". So although someone's words, or a situation may have bruised the course of your life, no one can prevent you from receiving the blessings God has for you. And once the blessings begin to come, you are sure to have a heart of only charity for those who once were in your life who could not understand the way of love.

I am finally coming to believe that it is possible to get my prayers answered. That it is possible for me to approach Jesus Christ in the silence of my heart, and ask for something that I want or need, and reverently anticipate that He will grant it. This is more than I could do for a very long time.

As I examine the contributions of my friends and those who I am following on my various social media sites, I see many people hurting due to broken relationships. They are often unable to fall out of love with someone who repeatedly plays 'hot and cold' with them. In other words, someone comes to him/her when they need him/her, and when they get what they want, BOOM! They hurt that person again and again. That's when seeking wholeheartedly to fall in love with Jesus is the only way that you will find the strength to purely sever the tie. Your goal should be to become indifferent to this person because what you see and prize so highly in him or her just isn't there. It is almost as if the person you are setting your sights on is an impostor. They mean and stand for something to you that just is not who they really are. Some folks think that Christ wants them to unconditionally love a person such as this. But be careful that the thought that Christ wants you to unconditionally love someone is not an excuse to avoid confronting a situation that you know is not good for you.

Believe me, the love of God is everything. God can make everything in your life as it should be. Be patient. Don't try to make miracles happen before their time. Relax, and know that God has a good life for you all mapped out.

♬  Kenny Marks: Make it Right

♬  Jonathan Butler: Falling in Love with Jesus

Praise Him (Twila Paris)

The holidays are a great time to think about how we can show love through our gift giving. It might help to remember that the most precious gift of all is Jesus Christ. We can never outgive him. So during the holidays, let's show our friends and neighbors the kindness and compassion that Jesus showed all people everywhere, both throughout his life, as well as his death.

Friendship happens silently

Out of all the moments when I am together with someone, those moments when I realize how much I love them are the quietest. We could be talking about any subject at all, or we could be on our way somewhere or even just cleaning the house together, and it comes to me how delightful this person is to be with, and at that moment there is nothing to say. I quietly smile as I am reminded that life is worth living.

As I think about this, I think of Jesus' sermon on the mount. I believe in Matthew chapter 6 Jesus directed people to avoid making a public display of their piety. Jesus said "give your alms in secret, and God, who sees in secret will reward you openly". The greatest experiences we have with our friends happen without words. They are beyond words. And God, who sees the love in our hearts, makes it clear to our friends as well as ourselves, that we have something very special.

♬ Elton John: Your Song

The Next Time I Fall (Peter Cetera, Amy Grant)

Hi! I used this video to express some sentiments from the Song of Solomon. I love where the bride (assumedly the bride of Christ, which Bible scholars say is His Church) says "Draw me and we will run together". In the late 1970s and early 1980s, during what has come to be known as "The Jesus Era", many young Christians prayed that God would give them 'a hunger and thirst' for Him and for the Scriptures. This "hunger and thirst" that people prayed for was based on a line from the Beatitudes: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied".

Then, I have taken this prayer for a hunger and thirst, and translated it to the wording of one who truly loves her King: "Draw me, and we will run together".

If someone invites you to a guilt trip, say "NO!"

There's been a very unhealthy pattern going on in my relationship with my boyfriend. I only just noticed it in recent weeks. What he likes to do is get me feeling like an inadequate girlfriend. And then he pops it on me: "Do you have any money?"

When people set out to make you feel guilty, it usually doesn't end with you just feeling guilty. They usually want something more. Guilt trips begin when someone makes you feel that you are not doing enough for them. Now, if you are on the internet on a regular basis, you may have observed that the trend is, to encourage people to believe and understand, you are beautiful just the way you are. There is nothing lacking in  the way God created you. This is the message that many people are sharing, and I agree with it. No one should ever make you feel that you are not doing enough for them. Oftentimes, those people who make others feel guilty are manipulators, and they target people who are sensitive. They target people who feel bad that they can't make a donation to every ministry and agency that asks.

The first step in setting yourself free from senseless guilty feelings is to recognize what is going on. Identify a pattern in a relationship where you often find yourself feeling "Oh my goodness, I have done a terrible thing". Once you notice that this is happening frequently with someone, just confront them [as long as you do not fear that the person is or may become dangerous]. I have found that just bringing it out into the open usually stops the person in their tracks. And if handing out guilt trips as a pattern for someone you know, try to remember each time, that this is the person's pattern, and remind the person each time, that you are not going to accept that from them.

Now, I mentioned in brackets that things may have to be handled differently with someone who is dangerous. I have been around some dangerous people before, and what I have done is force myself to just completely "chill out", and go ahead and stand my ground and be firm about what I want and don't want. Be calm and be firm. That's my best advice for you. It has worked well for me.

Remember to be kind to yourself. If you notice that something is bothering you, and you are not feeling good inside, ask yourself, "How might I alleviate this unrest inside me?" And do what you can restore you to a feeling of comfort.

♬  Wilson Phillips: Hold On

My Soul Desire (Deniece Williams)

The gift of energy

And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.” *

I am sharing this Bible passage because it becomes clear here that there is a certain energy that is transferred from one person to another when help has been given. Here, Jesus did not even have to know that he had actually healed a woman who had been ill for many years. He did not know that. But he knew that power had gone out of him. He felt it. The reason I'm sharing this is to make the point that friendship can be tiring. And it involves an awareness that we may not receive back for the commitment that we have made.

Mostly what makes friendship tiring is that it requires concentration, sometimes intense concentration. I can only liken it to a game of ping-pong. When I was in college, we used to often play ping-pong just to see how long we could keep the volley going. In order to do that we had to watch where and how the person on the other end of the table was going to hit the ball. Simultaneously, we needed to be where the ball was going in order to paddle it back. And we did this for as long as we possibly could.

Translated to friendship, we can ask,
•What is it that my friend wants to share with me?
•Can I understand where he/she is coming from?
•Can I remember not to be judgemental?
•What is the best thing I can do or say to keep love flowing?

The combined energies of the people who are friends should make sure their own needs are being met, while also behaving in a way that is consistent with the standards they believe in.

* Luke 8:43-48

♬  Janis Joplin: Piece of my Heart

You Gotta Be (Des'ree)

Thick as a Brick (Jethro Tull)

Two good practices that go hand in hand

What does it take to be a friend? I want to talk about forbearance and adaptability. Forbearance is something that I am realizing I personally need to exercise more of when making friends, and when talking to friends I already feel close to. Forbearance for me means, control my commentary when someone says something I don't agree with, or when I observe something in someone that is unlike the standards that I adhere to. Can we enjoy and appreciate people who are very different from us? Can love exist between people of different religions, political views, parenting styles? As friends, we are here to stretch ourselves. We are here to make possible friendships that perhaps many people, or even we ourselves, thought to be impossible. In order to do this, the old "fermé la bouche" works real well (French for "close your mouth"). I would recommend, for myself as well as those reading, to watch over the statements and comments that we make to our friends or potential friends. Be sensitive to how a thought shared might come across.

The second word I wanted to talk about is adaptability. As I think about adaptability, it is something that I would want my friends to have when communicating with me. I would want my friends to consider what I might be going through, and therefore it would be my hope that they would not be too rapidly offended with me. How much time do we spend really thinking about the position our friends are in? I think about this question now and in my mind I'm going over my past week, and thinking about many times when conflict could have been avoided if only I had taken the time to think about the other person. Adaptability, considering how our friends' might be feeling within their lives, and being what they need us to be.

And so, quality friendships can happen when we consider others. First, we need to take hold of the things we say to our friends. Secondly, we need to think about what is going on in the lives of those around us, and how we can be a help to them. These are things that I know I need to grow in, so I hope you will find them helpful as well.

♬Lipps, Inc: Funkytown

People all over the world, get on board

♬  The O'Jays: LOVE TRAIN

You see, in order for friendship to work and be sincere, it must be available to everyone. Are you willing to go to a place where the severely and profoundly retarded are being embraced? Are you willing to share friendship with those who have been very very unfortunate? The homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes, pimps drug dealers, murderers, child abusers?

Listen to Christ's words: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

And I myself come to you now, confessing. I have failed at being A True Friend many times. And I know that there are others who have failed at many things. Many things they badly wish they had not failed at. And it is sooo easy to sit in judgment. To measure our strengths and successes against other people's weaknesses and helplessness. But this is not what God is calling us to do, at all. He is calling us to leave our door a little open. To consider how unhappy people are who are stuck in ways of living that they see no way out of. I say this, and you know what pops into my mind? There is a girl who I have been completely shunning! She makes me crazy, and I do not know how to deal with her. I want success, and I feel that she can't bear the thought of success for me, so I have stated that I don't want her anywhere around me.

How is she going to get on board the Love Train? How are she and I going to board the same Love Train? Way more challenging than the ice bucket challenge! But this is the friendship challenge, you could say. How are we going to get on board the same Love Train as those people who we totally cannot stand? How are we going to board the same Love Train as those who have hurt us and destroyed us? How are we going to share the Love Train with the severely and profoundly retarded? Those who we can't bear to look at.

We are told that God is LOVE. He loves every one of us. We are all supposed to board the LOVE TRAIN together.

Making a friend is

Making a friend is an extremely happy time. You discover someone in this great big, confusing world, who is really nice to you and appreciates your being nice to them. And usually it is someone within your circle of activities, which makes it easy to look forward to seeing the person soon. I can think of someone specific who I was absolutely delighted to become friends with in High School. However, that friendship ended, and it ended in a deep disappointment. This young lady, and myself, also a very young lady at the time, mutually let each other down.

Many times, very wonderful friendships end in disappointment. And personally, I don't see myself as capable of being A True Friend. I do very nice things, and I try my best to live by the Good Book. But I have failed many people. I have failed people who deserved better from me. So the only friendship I am able to offer is that we might have this in common: I will look to Jesus to help me survive, and you should look to Jesus to help you survive.

And we while we are both standing and looking to Jesus, we can hold hands.

This is all I promise.

♬  The Faith Crew: Hey Now

Psalm 119 Beth

Psalm 119: Aleph

The core of true friendship: being a friend "just because"

This comment appeared under a post from one of the Facebook pages that I "Liked". When I read it, I felt compelled to respond. The name of the woman who made the comment will, for our purposes be "Anonymous".

Anonymous: "well to be honest I am sick to death with all that is going on in my case as i do not understand any of it all i do know is that people have treated me in a very bad way indeed and i need the truth . I have been on my own on this not knowing who is a friend or a foe .its just crazy the mind game that has been played against me and i feel totally betrayed and upset I dont think i will ever get over what has been done to me .and i dont feel guilty about anything i only feel very upset and let down that people cannot be straight with me .and all the things the certain persons involved have tried to pin on me and innuendo about well I will NEVER change and if you dont like it put a gun to my head as i couldnt care a less if you want rid of me and out of the northeast so badly why caint you tell me to my face just using this mind torture game that you have made is just sick and anyone who has been party to it i hope you rott . just disgusting and i wonder has this happened to others in the past .well i only hope you are eventually found out and all your helpers and they get what is coming to them just like they have put me through hell and for what .I keep asking as it seems people won tell me .i dont think trust will be a thing i will be doing from know on .and my buisiness is mine so its up to me stop interfering you have ruined my life"
Like · Reply · Yesterday at 5:25pm

My response: "Lisa, you are presenting a number of issues and I want to do my best to help you. I will begin by saying, nobody can be trusted. Good people as well as bad, are easily tempted to create trouble. You therefore must be careful what you say to people, because even though we all know that it is wrong to lie, there is no law against it, and even if there were a law against lying, who could ever enforce it? No one, friend or foe, is obligated to be honest with you or to help you. And the same applies to me, and each one of us who has been put on this earth. No one at all, not even parent or spouse will have any immediate consequence if they lie to us, or do any other types of injustices to us. So, what do we do? We affirm Life. We decide that life is worth living even though we are not going to be fully, 100% loved by anyone but God. We choose to continue, and we hope that maybe if we make worthy goals to try to contribute to this hurting world, we will find fulfillment regardless of what others think, say or do. I hope this helps."

♬ Amanda Marshall: Ride

Get Up and Boogie (Silver Convention)

H


Hey friends!!! I'm stopping by here today because it's my birthday. September 29, 1957 was when I was born. Hopefully, I will set aside some time to write soon because I do have an interesting topic in mind. But here today I am dancing with y'all via YouTube video.

Friendship is valuable

There are all kinds of things to be said on the subject of friendship being valuable. What first comes to mind for me, our friendships are enhanced as we continue to go the distance with our friends. However, a situation occurred in my life with a couple of fairly new facebook friends, and it caused me some sorrow, but I had to unfriend them. I imagine the majority of my facebook friends know about my  A True Friend Facebook page, and if they take any sincere interest in me at all, then they've gotta have some idea that I am trying my best to be a true friend. Well, call it paranoia or something, but recently I was socializing with a fairly new facebook friend, and I made mention in passing of something that was bugging me here where I live (in my nursing home). After that, she ignored me and I got shut out of the conversation. And afterwards I continued to be ignored.

You know what this told me? This told me very simply that she placed no value on our friendship. And I will say it in the tone a former art teacher I had in my freshman year of Art School. He came to my piece and said in a very clear voice. "Uh-uh!" Translated that would mean, "This will not do at all". And this is what I am telling you guys here at Always Your Friend. When you recognize that your friendship means nothing to somebody, time to go. Yes patience and trying to see the best in people are very important components to a positive relationship. But there are times when making a good effort comes to an end. There will be people who assume that if you are trying your best to be a good person then you will put up with anything. But if someone is taking away your peace of mind, when being around a person is unpleasant every time, then as far as I'm concerned it is time to say bye.

It is impossible to be a true friend when one specific "friend" is zapping your energy and self confidence. Walk away from a relationship that is constantly worrisome and only makes you unhappy.

♬   Pat Benatar: Treat Me Right

Jealousy, is it all that bad?

History carries throughout itself a variety of attitudes which are specific to different time periods or eras. For example, I was taught that during the time of the Puritans in early America, a man and a woman had to have an actual wooden division between them during a date to prevent them from getting intimate. So mortified were the Puritans at the concept of sex outside of marriage. Today, we are hardly putting up barriers between people when they date. Quite the opposite is true. Contraception, as well as aids for any type of sexual act someone might seek, are available for the asking.

But no, A True Friend is not getting on her beef tonight about premarital sex. I am just pointing out how very very different time periods in history can be. The subject tonight is, jealousy. I remember when I was a tweenager, and my best girlfriend Linda got her first kiss on the lips from a guy before I did, the envy built up inside me immensely.

What is jealousy and envy really? Part of it is comparing ourselves to others. Part of is feeling 'left behind' when a dear friend is prospering and we recognize, we do not have what our friend has. But I have tried in my own personal life just to come out sometimes and declare "I'M JEALOUS!" I've only been able to do it when it's a very small matter, because when there is a strong jealousy about something someone has, you get yelled at. In our age (era) jealousy is something that has to be covered up and concealed like a corpse when someone is afraid of being indicted for murder. Such is the shame associated with wanting something somebody else has.

Yes, one of the ten commandments is not to covet. But so are not to use God's name in vane, to honor the Sabbath day, many other commandments that we are unable to comply with. Let's take our jealousies out of the closet. Let us understand that jealousy, when someone has something we wish we had and do not, is completely normal. When we realize this, we can feel more comfortable with ourselves. If we accept that jealousy is a part of life, when we no longer feel mandated to keep it a deep dark secret, all kinds if friendships might form where we never would have believed they could!

♬Kim Hill: Mysterious Ways

Hatred, rejection and friendship

Moving along on the same theme of hatred and friendship, and being prepared to protect ourselves, let me say that nobody enjoys hating someone. Knowing that love is the greatest thing life has to offer, and we feel delighted to know that someone loves us, and we often feel delighted to be around people that we can appreciate and love, and so we know that the opposite of that, finding faults in people and oftentimes being sure that they for whatever reason do not like us, is a very very uncomfortable and sometimes even desperate place to be.

But an element comes into play in all of this, that if we get a good grasp on it, we can make all of our relationships flow better. We need to understand that everybody, everybody is protecting certain things that we do not know about them, and they feel sure that if we knew these facts, feelings, elements of their life experience, they would lose us. Therefore, there are times when people behave unreasonably. When people say and do things to us that are hurtful and don't make sense, they may be working very very hard to get us to back off, because we have touched an area that they feel extremely insecure with us about.

Take even saying the three most wonderful words "I love you". That's stressful! Do you see how all the insecurities mentioned in the previous paragraph could be very intense, when the person longs to let you know that they love you? Golly!

You could say this approach to hate and insult is like seeing life through rose colored glasses. But the practical point to take from this is that vicious behavior, hurtful words, can be looked at as the person telling you to back off. They are saying "you and what you stand for, I'm uncomfortable with at this time." At this time! Be patient, is the unspoken favor they ask. "Be patient, and I will pay you everything."

♬ Billy Vera and the Beaters: At This Moment

When there is no salvaging the friendship

I actually am specifically talking about a friendship with a relative. You also might have relatives that you are mandated to keep company with, but every time you see them they make you feel horrible.

My Dad, who was for these past few months my pride and joy, has disappointed me deeply. I feel sad about it. But I have a hunch at this point, that now that he has lost control of his temper the way he used to do for many years, there is no going back to the joy that we have been experiencing.

But the beauty of being a true friend is that no matter what the hardship, a true friend is true. Rather than just getting disgusted and throwing out her value system, a true friend adapts. Whatever the situation, the question is, how can I be the best friend I can be under these circumstances?

I am seeing that, at 84 years old (he will be 84 in November), and by me being his daughter, there is almost no chance that I will change him. But his character is not my responsibility. As friends, we are not responsible for other people's friendship styles. Our responsibility is however, to guard our hearts from hurt. We can remain a true friend to someone, even when they do not know as much as we do about what friendship means. But we must detach from them emotionally.

Not easy to change the way we react to someone, especially a relative who is well aware of our tender spots. But there are times when we must make a serious effort to do it.  When we see anyone becoming a threat to our happiness, we need to adjust the picture in our minds of the kind of friend the person is. Like everything in life, friendship is a learning process. We learn our friends. We learn how much of ourselves we can afford to give to each of our friends individually.

♬  Helen Reddy: Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady

How even hatred is important to friendship

Hate is a very very awful thing. Jesus said that "He who is angry with his brother without cause is a murderer". Indeed, the ultimate end of hate is murder.

There are a variety of reasons why someone might hate us. There are a number of reasons why we might hate someone. And then there also exists the hatred of a group of people. Jews, Blondes, short people, fat people... Obviously the list is endless.

And then there is a hate common to all of us. All of us at times, hate everybody. Each of us has been given gifts. Each of us is unique, and each of us has a set of values that we will not compromise. And when we see that the rest of the world compromises values that we know they should not be compromising, this is the level where we each have our own reason to despise everybody.

Yet hatred plays an important part in friendship. It creates in us the wisdom to protect the tenderest part inside our hearts. We come to realize that we need to avoid becoming so vulnerable to someone that we give them the power to destroy us. This is when having a certain measure of hate is healthy. A knowing that we are different from others. An acceptance that we are separate human beings.

♬   Haddaway: What is Love

A weight loss program for the blog

OK, I just want to make a little note here about the nature of this blog. As much as possible, I am into a number of things but my aim is to avoid discussing anything that does not relate to or enhance friendship. When writing on this blogspot, I only want to talk about things that enhance friendship.

And so, as I was fixing up the blog recently, I noticed that there were way too many music videos. I guess my thought in posting them was that I had intended my A True Friend YouTube channel to coordinate with this blog, as well as my A True Friend Facebook page. But I have decided that there were way too many music videos here, and I feel they may deter readers from finding topics that they would appreciate more.

Therefore, I am going to remove many of the music videos, and leave the written material. The song downloads with lyrics will stay.

If you happen to be interested  in my videos, they are at

https://youtube.com/user/4theSakeofFriendship

I wish you a happy and prosperous week.

A True Friend

Friendship keeps hope alive

How many of you have been treated unjustly? Things have happened not the way they aught to and not the way you expected them to. And it has cost you to suffer. Not fair.

The American way is to approach someone in a higher position and get somebody 'higher-up", to force the situation to go your way. Not the way of friendship. See, with friendship, we always view the attacker as someone who has the potential to like us. We always see the enemy as a potential friend. As someone, who if they came to understand the way of love, would gladly and willingly do good to us.

And so, even though a person has wronged us, we hold off a confrontation. A confrontation will only bring to a head the differences and animosity that is between you. It will take you further away from a peaceful resolve.

At first, sacrifice may be involved with holding your peace, but in a short time, you will come to see that accepting a slight suffering can turn the whole situation around for you. Always love.

♬ Mouth and MacNeal: How Do You Do

True friends are supportive of each others' faith, even if it differs from their own

Faith. Don't think it is the power to believe that God is real. Indirectly, faith is a strong belief which brings an individual back to this power. But Muslins, Hindus, Buddhists, and even atheists are capable of strong, abiding faith which needs to be supported. And... I will relate this straight to friendship.

When I was in the 6th grade, I had a little friend called Sherry. I at the time, being from Israel, was zealous as could be about my Judaism. Sherry was from a very wonderful family, always made me feel welcome, and they were church going Christians. I knew nothing about all of what that meant. But it meant that Sherry believed in Jesus. Sherry and I were great, great friends, and she was really good to me. But it would come a time when we began to argue about religion. Here I have to confess, I began to bludgeon her and say mean things to her because I wanted her to give up Christ and believe as I believed. The arguing between us got out of hand, and unfortunately, just as we were about to graduate 6th grade and transition to Jr. High School, Sherry's parents decided to relocate the family.

You don't convince someone about a God of love by force. What people believe is the very deepest thing in their soul that gives them hope. I have met various people who have shared their faith with me. Though it was different from my own, I sincerely encouraged them. Religion is not meant to be about facts and figures. Religion is about following that thing that guides us into making positive choices for our lives. It is that thing that gives us hope. Bludgeon somebody to the point when they are no longer happy with what they believe, and all you may end up doing is losing a friend.

♬ Serena Ryder: Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream

BABY AIDEN: HOLD ON

This video of this tiny little guy with an amazing survivor spirit, touches my heart so much!

Sharing the things that make a difference

She fights the crowds of her hometown
The very streets her friends walked down
She's sick, she's dying
They all know
Exhausted wisdom of the world
She's still afflicted
Where is the cure?
Just touch the border of His clothes

There's no affliction He cannot ease
There is no captive He can't release
There is no wrong He cannot right
There is no lust He cannot tame
There's no unknown He cannot name
There is no cripple He cannot teach
To walk
To run
To dance
To fly

You are His miracle
Keep drawing nearer
You are His miracle
It's becoming clearer
You are His miracle
A few more steps
Reach out your hand and you will see
You are His miracle
Ready to be

Her fingertips touch garment thread
Her childlike faith
At last has lead her to
The very source of help
He turns and looks her eye to eye
It's God himself
And He replies
"Your simple trust has made you well"

There's no heart torn He cannot bind
There is no loss He cannot find
There is no mute He cannot teach To talk
To shout
To laugh
To sing

You are His miracle
Keep drawing nearer
You are His miracle
It's becoming clearer
You are His miracle
A few more steps
Reach out your hand, and you will see

YOU HAVE NO STORM HE CANNOT WHISPER
"Peace, be still"
YOU HAVE NO GIANT IN HIS NAME YOU CANNOT KILL
THERE'S NO HOLD ON YOU HE CANNOT SEVER
NOTHING IS TOO GREAT
NOT NOW, NOT EVER

You are His miracle
Keep drawing nearer
You are His miracle
It's becoming clearer
You are His miracle
A few more steps
Reach out your hand and you will see
You are His miracle
Ready to be.

Tony Melendez: You Are His Miracle

   

To unite with those who are fearful

Hearts Courageous

Give us ears to hear that still small voice
And give us lips forever willing to rejoice
May our eyes be lit with wisdom
May we know the Path that's true
And we'll march with hearts courageous after you

We're marching on with hearts courageous
We'll follow anywhere you lead us to
And should You lead us where the battle rages,
Still we'll march with hearts courageous after you

When sorrow dims our path along the way
May we see each time of darkness rise up faith
A time of hope, a time of courage
Knowing You will lead us through
As we march with hearts courageous after You

We're marching on with hearts courageous
We'll follow anywhere You take us to
And when You lead us where the battle rages
Lord we'll march with hearts courageous after You

We're marching on with hearts courageous
We'll follow anywhere You take us to
And should You lead us where the battle rages
Still we'll march with hearts courageous after Youu

Yes we'll march with hearts courageous after You.

The Maranatha Singers: Hearts Courageous

Friends mean a great deal to people with disabilites

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me..

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

Listening to you, I get the music
Gazing at you, I get the heat Following you, I climb the mountain
I get excitement at your feet

Right behind you, I see the millions
On you, I see the glory
From you, I get opinions
From you, I get the story

Listening to you, I get the music Gazing at you, I get the heat Following you, I climb the mountain
I get excitement at your feet

Right behind you, I see the millions
On you, I see the glory
From you, I get opinions
From you, I get the story

Listening to you, I get the music Gazing at you, I get the heat Following you, I climb the mountain
I get excitement at your feet

Right behind you, I see the millions
On you, I see the glory
From you, I get opinions
From you, I get the story

The Who: See Me, Feel Me/Listening to You

I Live 4 (Raya Stuiver)

It has been a good while since I first announced here on my blog that I had created a YouTube channel to coordinate with this here blog. Actually, I have gone through a couple of different URLs for the coordinating YouTube channel. Well, at this point, I have figured out a technique for doing a thing that I have dreamed of doing for many years. I have developed a technique for combining animated gif files with popular music. And so, what I hope to do eventually is to get rid of all the videos I have made with just my face in front of the camera. I just feel that they were unsuccessful because I become too self-conscious in front of the camera. And now that I have a wonderful way of sharing the music I love without having to put my face in front of the camera, we have what has been termed, a win-win situation.

Anyways, as I've been fooling around and trying different things here with this YouTube channel, I somehow ended up with a setup where they wanted me to have a trailer for my channel. This here, for now, is my final draft of my trailer.

By the way the URL for this, my A True Friend YouTube channel is:

https://youtube.com/user/4theSakeofFriendship

As time goes by

It's a cold, cold world we live in. Everybody's so afraid to take risks. We are so afraid of being hurt. We don't ask for what we want because we are too afraid of being turned down. Our world has turned us down so many times. I'm speaking about my own personal experience. Me and myself, I am glad if I can help someone. And that's as close as I allow myself to get to love. And as close as I allow another to get to loving me. Because I have been hurt by love. I have been hurt by friends. I have seen friendships where I really believed in someone, and I was disappointed.

Colour My World

As time goes on
I realize
Just what you mean
To me
And now
Now that you're near
Promise your love
That I've waited to share
And dreams
Of our moments together
Colour my world.
With hope
Of loving you.

Written by:
James Pankow

♬  Chicago: Color My World

Only for You (Trace Balin)

I would hope that in spite of the troubles i face, i could take a moment to tell the Lord i love Him. Or maybe just "hi Lord" or something.

How can we then love?

Friendship can be an enormous challenge. Hatred is a reality, and if someone should dare to be an authentic True Friend, then facing that hatred exits is mandatory. How can we be a friend at all if we are too cowardly to look at the opposition?

Jesus admitted there was hatred when He told us to "Love those who hate us" (Matthew chapter 6). He acknowledged hatred. But He told us how to handle it. How challenging is that?

To add to the challenge that hatred poses in individual human beings, who we are called upon to find it in our hearts to forgive, there are also world powers that specifically see those who love and wish to work toward world peace as an enemy. I am referring to what was once called "The mob", or "The Mafia". Also, my observation has been that China has really really become wealthy and powerful.

Our current president, President Obama, had very beautiful dreams about what this country could be. But after he took office, he learned that there are world powers who see peace as a threat to their wealth, and a threat to their ability to continue adding to their wealth. Unfortunately, as United States President, he had to think of what was best for ALL Americans, and many of his good intentions had to be scrapped.

But friendship continues to be that priceless thing that keeps our world glued together. Not even the greatest of evil forces are more powerful than love. I don't think a person in the world would want to wake up in the morning if they didn't have someone in their life who they loved.

♬   Elton John: Love Song

Yes it does! It takes the patience of a Saint!

So it's been a very very long time since I wrote a blog, but here I am. I wanna tell you all about the changes and complications that have occurred for me with blogger since I have been using a new and upgraded device. First of all, and very embarrassing, the images I've uploaded to coordinate with my blog disappear. I have discovered that if I delete them from my homescreen image collection, they get removed from my blog. I don't know why this is. Then I also had to go through a little bit of a process to verify myself, which I did. And they also gave me an email address so that wherever I am, if I want to create a blog, I can send it through my email. Something that would never happen, because I'm way too meticulous about my blogs.

Anyway, to go onto addressing friendship issues. I know when I have someone who I care about, and suddenly I turn around and see them suffering very much, it tears me to pieces. Such is the case now with my Dad. Very much earlier in my blog writing, I mentioned a few times that my relationship with my brother is strained, and that I wish it were not so. Well, people get older, and the juxtapositions within relationships change, and my brother's self esteem has hit rock bottom. I realized this because of things I found out on the internet about him. But also because after the death of my mother, my brother has sought to work ruin for my Dad, and it is breaking my heart.

What do you do, when a close family member is hurting? When forces that you have no control over are working against someone you love? The only thing I know to do is pray. Be patient with your circumstances, and be patient also for your prayers to be heard.

Men are not bestowed with the same kind of patience as women have. If it looks like they're gonna lose, they very quickly get tempted to walk away from the game. But as one who has been given Eternal Life, I know that God goes on forever. God is the winner of every game, and those who have him living inside them, can never lose. Still, not everybody is as confident as I. But all of us only need to hang in there with everything. And realize that there's a whole other world within the heavens, one that is not at all effected by all the double dealing that goes on here on earth.


♬ The Worship Community: Stilled and Quieted my Soul