Two good practices that go hand in hand

What does it take to be a friend? I want to talk about forbearance and adaptability. Forbearance is something that I am realizing I personally need to exercise more of when making friends, and when talking to friends I already feel close to. Forbearance for me means, control my commentary when someone says something I don't agree with, or when I observe something in someone that is unlike the standards that I adhere to. Can we enjoy and appreciate people who are very different from us? Can love exist between people of different religions, political views, parenting styles? As friends, we are here to stretch ourselves. We are here to make possible friendships that perhaps many people, or even we ourselves, thought to be impossible. In order to do this, the old "fermé la bouche" works real well (French for "close your mouth"). I would recommend, for myself as well as those reading, to watch over the statements and comments that we make to our friends or potential friends. Be sensitive to how a thought shared might come across.

The second word I wanted to talk about is adaptability. As I think about adaptability, it is something that I would want my friends to have when communicating with me. I would want my friends to consider what I might be going through, and therefore it would be my hope that they would not be too rapidly offended with me. How much time do we spend really thinking about the position our friends are in? I think about this question now and in my mind I'm going over my past week, and thinking about many times when conflict could have been avoided if only I had taken the time to think about the other person. Adaptability, considering how our friends' might be feeling within their lives, and being what they need us to be.

And so, quality friendships can happen when we consider others. First, we need to take hold of the things we say to our friends. Secondly, we need to think about what is going on in the lives of those around us, and how we can be a help to them. These are things that I know I need to grow in, so I hope you will find them helpful as well.

♬Lipps, Inc: Funkytown

People all over the world, get on board

♬  The O'Jays: LOVE TRAIN

You see, in order for friendship to work and be sincere, it must be available to everyone. Are you willing to go to a place where the severely and profoundly retarded are being embraced? Are you willing to share friendship with those who have been very very unfortunate? The homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes, pimps drug dealers, murderers, child abusers?

Listen to Christ's words: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

And I myself come to you now, confessing. I have failed at being A True Friend many times. And I know that there are others who have failed at many things. Many things they badly wish they had not failed at. And it is sooo easy to sit in judgment. To measure our strengths and successes against other people's weaknesses and helplessness. But this is not what God is calling us to do, at all. He is calling us to leave our door a little open. To consider how unhappy people are who are stuck in ways of living that they see no way out of. I say this, and you know what pops into my mind? There is a girl who I have been completely shunning! She makes me crazy, and I do not know how to deal with her. I want success, and I feel that she can't bear the thought of success for me, so I have stated that I don't want her anywhere around me.

How is she going to get on board the Love Train? How are she and I going to board the same Love Train? Way more challenging than the ice bucket challenge! But this is the friendship challenge, you could say. How are we going to get on board the same Love Train as those people who we totally cannot stand? How are we going to board the same Love Train as those who have hurt us and destroyed us? How are we going to share the Love Train with the severely and profoundly retarded? Those who we can't bear to look at.

We are told that God is LOVE. He loves every one of us. We are all supposed to board the LOVE TRAIN together.

Making a friend is

Making a friend is an extremely happy time. You discover someone in this great big, confusing world, who is really nice to you and appreciates your being nice to them. And usually it is someone within your circle of activities, which makes it easy to look forward to seeing the person soon. I can think of someone specific who I was absolutely delighted to become friends with in High School. However, that friendship ended, and it ended in a deep disappointment. This young lady, and myself, also a very young lady at the time, mutually let each other down.

Many times, very wonderful friendships end in disappointment. And personally, I don't see myself as capable of being A True Friend. I do very nice things, and I try my best to live by the Good Book. But I have failed many people. I have failed people who deserved better from me. So the only friendship I am able to offer is that we might have this in common: I will look to Jesus to help me survive, and you should look to Jesus to help you survive.

And we while we are both standing and looking to Jesus, we can hold hands.

This is all I promise.

♬  The Faith Crew: Hey Now

Psalm 119 Beth

Psalm 119: Aleph

The core of true friendship: being a friend "just because"

This comment appeared under a post from one of the Facebook pages that I "Liked". When I read it, I felt compelled to respond. The name of the woman who made the comment will, for our purposes be "Anonymous".

Anonymous: "well to be honest I am sick to death with all that is going on in my case as i do not understand any of it all i do know is that people have treated me in a very bad way indeed and i need the truth . I have been on my own on this not knowing who is a friend or a foe .its just crazy the mind game that has been played against me and i feel totally betrayed and upset I dont think i will ever get over what has been done to me .and i dont feel guilty about anything i only feel very upset and let down that people cannot be straight with me .and all the things the certain persons involved have tried to pin on me and innuendo about well I will NEVER change and if you dont like it put a gun to my head as i couldnt care a less if you want rid of me and out of the northeast so badly why caint you tell me to my face just using this mind torture game that you have made is just sick and anyone who has been party to it i hope you rott . just disgusting and i wonder has this happened to others in the past .well i only hope you are eventually found out and all your helpers and they get what is coming to them just like they have put me through hell and for what .I keep asking as it seems people won tell me .i dont think trust will be a thing i will be doing from know on .and my buisiness is mine so its up to me stop interfering you have ruined my life"
Like · Reply · Yesterday at 5:25pm

My response: "Lisa, you are presenting a number of issues and I want to do my best to help you. I will begin by saying, nobody can be trusted. Good people as well as bad, are easily tempted to create trouble. You therefore must be careful what you say to people, because even though we all know that it is wrong to lie, there is no law against it, and even if there were a law against lying, who could ever enforce it? No one, friend or foe, is obligated to be honest with you or to help you. And the same applies to me, and each one of us who has been put on this earth. No one at all, not even parent or spouse will have any immediate consequence if they lie to us, or do any other types of injustices to us. So, what do we do? We affirm Life. We decide that life is worth living even though we are not going to be fully, 100% loved by anyone but God. We choose to continue, and we hope that maybe if we make worthy goals to try to contribute to this hurting world, we will find fulfillment regardless of what others think, say or do. I hope this helps."

♬ Amanda Marshall: Ride