What does it take to be a friend? I want to talk about forbearance and adaptability. Forbearance is something that I am realizing I personally need to exercise more of when making friends, and when talking to friends I already feel close to. Forbearance for me means, control my commentary when someone says something I don't agree with, or when I observe something in someone that is unlike the standards that I adhere to. Can we enjoy and appreciate people who are very different from us? Can love exist between people of different religions, political views, parenting styles? As friends, we are here to stretch ourselves. We are here to make possible friendships that perhaps many people, or even we ourselves, thought to be impossible. In order to do this, the old "fermé la bouche" works real well (French for "close your mouth"). I would recommend, for myself as well as those reading, to watch over the statements and comments that we make to our friends or potential friends. Be sensitive to how a thought shared might come across.
The second word I wanted to talk about is adaptability. As I think about adaptability, it is something that I would want my friends to have when communicating with me. I would want my friends to consider what I might be going through, and therefore it would be my hope that they would not be too rapidly offended with me. How much time do we spend really thinking about the position our friends are in? I think about this question now and in my mind I'm going over my past week, and thinking about many times when conflict could have been avoided if only I had taken the time to think about the other person. Adaptability, considering how our friends' might be feeling within their lives, and being what they need us to be.
And so, quality friendships can happen when we consider others. First, we need to take hold of the things we say to our friends. Secondly, we need to think about what is going on in the lives of those around us, and how we can be a help to them. These are things that I know I need to grow in, so I hope you will find them helpful as well.
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