Saturday, September 13, 2014

Hatred, rejection and friendship

Moving along on the same theme of hatred and friendship, and being prepared to protect ourselves, let me say that nobody enjoys hating someone. Knowing that love is the greatest thing life has to offer, and we feel delighted to know that someone loves us, and we often feel delighted to be around people that we can appreciate and love, and so we know that the opposite of that, finding faults in people and oftentimes being sure that they for whatever reason do not like us, is a very very uncomfortable and sometimes even desperate place to be.

But an element comes into play in all of this, that if we get a good grasp on it, we can make all of our relationships flow better. We need to understand that everybody, everybody is protecting certain things that we do not know about them, and they feel sure that if we knew these facts, feelings, elements of their life experience, they would lose us. Therefore, there are times when people behave unreasonably. When people say and do things to us that are hurtful and don't make sense, they may be working very very hard to get us to back off, because we have touched an area that they feel extremely insecure with us about.

Take even saying the three most wonderful words "I love you". That's stressful! Do you see how all the insecurities mentioned in the previous paragraph could be very intense, when the person longs to let you know that they love you? Golly!

You could say this approach to hate and insult is like seeing life through rose colored glasses. But the practical point to take from this is that vicious behavior, hurtful words, can be looked at as the person telling you to back off. They are saying "you and what you stand for, I'm uncomfortable with at this time." At this time! Be patient, is the unspoken favor they ask. "Be patient, and I will pay you everything."

Billy Vera and the Beaters: At This Moment

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