Forgiveness is not a natural inclination

This is going to be a special blog. First of all because I want to pour out my heart, and secondly because I want to talk about a subject that's at the core of being a friend, and at the same time being a Christian.

Last night was a horrible night for me. The staff assigned to care for me behaved in a shockingly irresponsible manner. And although I thought that in the process of becoming more like Jesus over the years I had given up many things, and that I had lost much and been broken, last night my pride once again, needed to chipped away. The situation, I really don't want to go into the details, maybe on another blog.

But this is the thing: I was wronged. I was deprived of my medication, my wound treatment, and other responsibilities that the pm nurse has with me. And though I tried to get help, nobody did anything to help me get my care. People behaved as if they were above the law. The concept of law, and the law are different now. Things have changed a great deal. And I feel very vindictive about it what happened. But guess what? As a Christian I am to put those thoughts away. Hate the sin. But love the sinner. And as I think about the nurse who was supposed to work with me, I know she grew up in a very different type of environment than I, and I'm just so frustrated that no matter what I try to tell myself about it all, I just keep going back to thoughts of wanting to see the people involved suffer.

So, what to do? We are told in the Bible to take "every thought captive to to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). Let me tell you, my thoughts are often not good at all. I very easily get jealous and feel threatened, in addition to this latest situation I'm telling you about, where forgiveness just won't come. But there's a lot of things I need to do and should do. If I didn't have the trampoline of Christ's grace to bounce into when I fall, I do not know what I would do.

♬  Rob Thomas: Her Diamonds

Vintage Amy Grant Music

Amy Grant Age To Age Concert (1982) from Just A Friend on Vimeo.

This is was a YouTube video, which I converted to an mp3, and than I chose a visual, as you can see, a photo of Amy Grant that I selected from available photos online. So in a way, other than the assembly, this is not my own work.

Sincerely

I want to share with you an experience I had many years ago when I was in my 20s. Now I may have gone over it on this blog before, but it made such an impact on me that I wish to talk about it some more.

Many years ago I lived in a Christian group home. You could say it was similar to a commune, but it was owned by a church, and everyone who lived there were people who aspired to live the Christian life. While living there, I went once in a while to a Christian Science Reading Room and learned of their theories and beliefs. Well, when I told them at the home I was living in that I found some of what the Christian Scientists believed interesting, they hit the ceiling! Basically they shouted CULT!!! At the time Christians were very paranoid and angry with any religious group that didn't adhere to the Fundamental Christian "Statement of Faith" and called them 'cults'. Now when this group of people in the Christian home began to argue and say it was dangerous to read about Christian Science, I got very disgusted. I thought "What haters!!!", as we say nowadays. All I could see was hate. And I got angry, so angry that I packed my bags and left. In a thunderstorm! Yes. It was coming down in buckets, and I sat at the bus stop, with nowhere to go. So I called all kinds of people who gave me their numbers at the end of my college years, but everybody told me "No", when I asked to spend the night. So I always carried a sleeping bag in those days, and I ended up sleeping under a bush.

The next day I went to a place called the "People's Emergency Center'. From there I called my Pastor, and he gave me some suggestions where I could go. Fortunately, some friends were kind enough to take me in. Now I tried very hard to be allowed to stay there. I straightened up the house for them while they were working, and tried my best to get along with them. Then, one of the leaders in their church began to come over in the evening and question me. Now every night, he asked me the same question, and I didn't want to answer: what was my reason for leaving the group home I'd been living in? I told him that the Bible said not to go around spreading rumors, and I didn't want to tell him. And he was a powerful man in the church those women attended. Which meant first of all it pissed him off real bad that I wouldn't tell him. And secondly, he decided I had a demon (can you imagine?) and could not stay, and whatever he decided was final.

The next day, me and the other women were in the sitting room, and I read some scriptures to them from the Bible in an effort to persuade them to let me stay. While I was reading, one of them cut me off and said to me, looking me straight in the eye "Raya where do you want us to take you?" The boldness with which they sat there, all of them knowing that they worshipped God together, and yet so readily treated me in a way that they knew was contradictory to His teachings!

Well now in the process of writing all this I realize I probably sound like I was a real weirdo. But all I was was a person trying to love God in a pure way, yet surrounded by a land of greed and selfishness, that was never about half the things it claimed to be.

♬   The Animals: Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

I Love A Lonely Day (originally from Amy Grant's "Age to Age" album)

Hi friends. I have not visited with you all in a while, and I'm very sorry about it. I think of things I wanna share, but I have been unable to find time to spend with you. Please bear with me. I will be with you soon.

Seek Ye First (The Kingdom of God)

Romantic love - some hints

Another subject I got to talking about on facebook: relationships, and finding a true love. For quite a while I've thought, people are silly, that they can't get their mind off romance. Then it occurred to me, easy for me to say! I have someone! So here I decided, let me go over some things that me and my boyfriend have done to help our relationship work. So here's basically what I shared though I tweaked it and clarified my writing by translating from my facebook slang. (Lol)

God has blessed me with someone very special, but I didn't meet him till I was in my 40s. If you want to be in a relationship that works, I would recommend, to quote Steve Harvey "be ready for your opportunities". Before you begin to pray so hard to find the right one, do some research about relationships. Find out about marriage and all that is involved. I personally learned a lot from listening to the Focus on the Family radio program. Now his ideas about politics (talking about James Dobson) are way way off and I don't believe ministers should use the pulpit to discuss their political views because voting for one party over the other is not a sin. So some people need to keep their political views away from the pulpit.

Anyways I learned a great deal about how to handle myself with a guy, first from Focus on the Family, and and secondly from an outstanding ministry called Cloud-Townsend Resources, where all kinds of real problems people face with relationships are addressed.

Be prepared with some understanding about relationships, marriage, and what makes men tick and what makes women tick. Then you are sure to succeed with a relationship. Andre Ragsdale and I have been seeing each other for 12 years. We love each other, are good to each other and hope to marry one day.

♬    Queen: Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Jesus or Mammon? - Life or Death? A life of love and fulfillment or a life of hostile competition?

Some very very important thoughts that I found myself sharing on facebook this morning, and these ideas and facts I consider vital to making proper, lucid life choices.

Posted by Just A Friend on Saturday, June 20, 2015

Posted by Just A Friend on Saturday, June 20, 2015

Majesty

Friendship and Time Management

This is a much needed to be discussed topic. I think particularly for those in the helping profession. People involved with the mentally Ill, those working with pregnancy, abuse... all who in one way or another work with healing and restoration, are known for high statistics of burnout.

Let me tell you how I approach writing this blog. Oftentimes, I might have a question or problem in my own life, and I hope, in the process of writing about the problem, to come up with solutions.

And so, myself, I am a well meaning person. My goal is to make as many people happy as I can. I want everyone to feel as happy and fulfilled in their life as possible. And this comes from my heart.

So there you have it.

There is a very very high demand for people who want to help. And so, I end up with people in my immediate surrounding who need some tenderness and understanding, then too, my little bit of family (my dad and my boyfriend) need reassurance, and now, it seems I have taken on a significant amount of friends and followers online. How am I supposed to make all of these people happy every day?

My first thought is, I need to draw my strength from God. I need to pray, "Lord, what should be my most important priority?". "Lord, what, out of all of the desires in my heart, means the most to You?" Burnout happens to me frequently. I might work on a challenging video, get excited about exercising, or devote a lot of time to another goal that drives me. And I may go for a few days on it, and afterwards sleep for a solid day or two. For a while now I've been complaining that I go and go, unaware that I am overdoing it.

And so, my only answer is: pray. Ask God to reveal to me, what, out of all the efforts I am making, is most important to Him? See if some of my efforts overlap, and in the process of accomplishing one goal, I can take care of something else as well. In this way, I can bring my goals together and accomplish much more. Once I am confident that what I am devoting time to is also what is in God's heart for me, much of the daily negativity will melt away, and we're all familiar with how energy-draining negativity is.

♬    Michael W. Smith: My Place In This World

Closeness

Hi. Things have been changing for me, and the nature of what I see as friendship, has changed. I will say, friendship needs to be close. When I say close, I mean that those people engaging in the friendship need to be able to see each other. Observe each other. Want a close relationship.

Much of the time I spend on my technological device, I spend creating things. As you've hopefully noticed, I make videos. I also create images, lately I've attempted to sing. And when I'm very concentrated on something that I'm creating, I've noticed lately how many people come into my room to see if I need anything. To ask if there is anything they might be able to do to make me more comfortable. And I've been touched. Clearly these are people who like to be around me. Who care for me.

And my Dad also, has recently moved to a place much closer in proximity to where I stay than where he lived for many years. Today, he called, and he actually wanted to attempt to walk here. He realized that wasn't realistic, but it really touched my heart.

Do you need love in your life? In all due respect, I prefer not to hurt anybody's feelings, but don't kid yourself into thinking you've got a friendship because of some casual, superficial exchanges with people online. Call a neighbor on the phone. Ask someone to come over after school or after work. Take a class in a subject that interests you, and get to know people in your class. There are ways to get to know people. I even sat regularly one day a week at the same table in a restaurant where a waitress worked who I'd become friendly with.

What I'm saying is, reach out to people. Real people. Don't depend completely on online friends, about whom you know nothing for sure.

♬   Foreigner: I Wanna Know What Love Is

If

Some May Trust In Horses