Is that really why?

OK, I have a kind of complicated thought I want to share, and as I thought of trying to blog about this, I was afraid explaining this idea and writing about it would just leave me exhausted.

My thought has to do with the way men perceive women, which I think is incorrect and demeaning. When a woman says or does something, there are many men who see anything a woman says or does as intended to impress a man, and ultimately, to seduce a man. Men have sex on the brain when it comes to women, and if they want to be fair, both to themselves and to the women in their lives, this needs to change.

How can real friendships form between men and women when secretly, men only see women as potential sex partners, and only value them as such? Even as I write this, I am feeling that many men will see my paragraphs as written with no more than a will to impress, and what is an attempt to communicate will be seen as only an effort to be attractive in some way.

By women being "the weaker sex" (this is what the bible says), when men label women as "DESPERATE TO ATTRACT", we as women just buy it about ourselves. Men overwhelmingly presume that this is so about us, so we accept it as truth and proceed to live our lives accordingly.

Men are missing out on many good ideas women could bring to the table, only because they don't want to let women in intellectually. I want to encourage the men out there, to find the strength to put away this biased attitude I am describing. Have the strength to give up your feelings of superiority in exchange for real friendship. Stop, and take the lives and thoughts of women as seriously as you take your own.

♬   Helen Reddy: I Am Woman

You Raise Me Up (Josh Groban)

I Know What It Means For Me

♬ CHILD OF THE FATHER
by Cheri Keaggy

I am a child of the Father
And I know what that means for me
It means I'm loved and I'm spoken for
It means I'm wealthy in heavenly things
I am a child of the Father
And I know what that means for me
It means I'm redeemed and forgiven
It means I'm holy and blameless and free

The blessings that are mine
Overwhelm me all the time
I am wealthy in Your eyes
For You are my Father
And I'm Your child

I am a child of the Father
And I know what that means for me
It means I'm Yours, forever
To be the person You want me to be
I am a child of the Father
And I know what that means for me
It means I'm found in Your kingdom
It means I'm right where You want me to be

The blessings that are mine
Overwhelm me all the time
I am wealthy in Your eyes
For You are my Father
And I'm Your child

When I look into Your face
I see a love I can't replace
I see my Savior and His grace
I see the One, I see the One
I see the One who took my place

The blessings that are mine
Overwhelm me all the time
I am wealthy in Your eyes
For You are my Father
And I'm Your child

Could that asshole be me?

Here's a thought that has been going through my head. How do we respond when we don't get our way, or when things don't go our way? I know, if someone says something rude to me or just doesn't treat me the way I want to be treated, all kinds of thoughts run through my mind. Oh, she's just jealous, he's uneducated (ignorant), she's crazy, he's going to Hell, it's going to come back on her.

We find something that has been said or done to us intolerable, and the way our brains (and heart) work, is that it is essential to us to think of a way to view them that is as close as possible to being equally intolerable. This is what most of us do, or at least what I do. But something has crossed my mind lately. If there is negativity going on with a particular person or persons, is it possible that my knee-jerk reaction of trying to see the person in an equally negative light, is revealing something to me? Is it possible that I need to reevaluate something in my own life rather than spit out any thoughts that what is happening could  say something about me?

Very very challenging thoughts here. But I feel they lead to a better quality of peace. Peace of mind for me and a feeling of relief for whoever has been frustrated with me. I want to take responsibility for my relationships and friendships, and potential friendships. I want to stop hurling criticism, even if it is only in my thoughts, because something didn't go my way. Even if in certain ways I have gotten into a rut, a change in attitude can only help, whatever stage of the game I'm in. One day at a time, moment by moment, I am going to resist the temptation to criticize others or frown at what they have chosen.

♬   Michael Jackson: Man in the Mirror

How are you feeling tonight?

Tonight, I've been doing the social media thing, you might say. I simply mean, that I was just examining my Facebook page. I saw very lonely people. And I also saw that nobody wants to take a chance and let the world know how they are feeling, really.

The posts I saw were cold. And I have Facebook friends that I have been friends with on Facebook for over 3 years, since I started my Facebook account, and I'm still waiting to see them post anything that really tells us what is going on within their heart and soul. And this makes for a very cold world; when everyone is waiting for somebody to open their mouth and say something that makes the reader respond or react in a real way. I also see people here where I live every day who cannot bear to listen to my talk, or allow me to show them something I have created on my phone, without first going and standing at my doorway and looking to the left and to the right to make sure that investing their time with me is an "OK" thing to do.

So people are looking for a leader. And those who take the initiative to direct the crowd are oftentimes not reliable. They introduce people to beliefs and behaviors that are not likely to make them happy, and in my opinion as a Christian, are misguided.

So I'm here tonight. I'm here tonight because I couldn't let the night go by without letting you know that I understand, and I care. I would encourage you to be very very patient as you wait for your blessing. Do the things you know for sure you enjoy. And if sometimes you might be bored, you might want to start writing in a diary or a prayer journal. God hears. Your blessing might not be ready to come yet. In fact, it might not be what you think you are looking for. But when it comes, it will be a real blessing.

♬   Debbie Koenig: There is a Throne

Jesus Loves Me (This I Know) - Michael Card

Lasting love should not drive you crazy

There is something that I've noticed people expressing about modern day friendship. Some of the young people I follow on my social media sites have expressed that, for a friendship to be totally authentic, your friend must be able make you feel absolutely horrible, and I've seen it said that if a friend does not do that, then you don't really love him/her.

Now, I can only speak from my own perspective: Andre and I almost don't argue at all. We observe the tenderheartedness in one another, we make note of what makes the other uncomfortable or feel inconvenienced, and right away we get to work on avoiding causing any unnecessary stress to each other. This is the very opposite of what I see some people defining as love.

Many of the kids today, because they are so eager to find real love, they go ahead and define real love as the only type of interaction they have experienced so far in their lives. In fact, it is possible that the very relationships that have disappointed them and made them miserable, they will turn around and say it is love, because they do not want to face the hurt.

A friendship that is built to last must be one which leaves both people feeling contented and lucky to have one another. Both must feel that they are receiving love, and not aggravation. Aggravation is hardly the same thing as love.

I want to leave you with a scripture passage where Paul discussed how people should work to please God, not just men/women:

"Servants, be obedient to them that are your lords according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the simplicity of your heart, as to Christ: Not serving to the eye, as it were pleasing men, but, as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart, With a good will serving, as to the Lord, and not to men" -
Ephesians 6:5-7 Douay-Rheims 1899

In friendship as well, we should be interacting with our friends with the idea that God is watching. Therefore, we should not toy with people's hearts, or expect them to toy with ours.

♬   Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman: Stumblin' In