Praise Him (Twila Paris)

The holidays are a great time to think about how we can show love through our gift giving. It might help to remember that the most precious gift of all is Jesus Christ. We can never outgive him. So during the holidays, let's show our friends and neighbors the kindness and compassion that Jesus showed all people everywhere, both throughout his life, as well as his death.

Friendship happens silently

Out of all the moments when I am together with someone, those moments when I realize how much I love them are the quietest. We could be talking about any subject at all, or we could be on our way somewhere or even just cleaning the house together, and it comes to me how delightful this person is to be with, and at that moment there is nothing to say. I quietly smile as I am reminded that life is worth living.

As I think about this, I think of Jesus' sermon on the mount. I believe in Matthew chapter 6 Jesus directed people to avoid making a public display of their piety. Jesus said "give your alms in secret, and God, who sees in secret will reward you openly". The greatest experiences we have with our friends happen without words. They are beyond words. And God, who sees the love in our hearts, makes it clear to our friends as well as ourselves, that we have something very special.

♬ Elton John: Your Song

The Next Time I Fall (Peter Cetera, Amy Grant)

Hi! I used this video to express some sentiments from the Song of Solomon. I love where the bride (assumedly the bride of Christ, which Bible scholars say is His Church) says "Draw me and we will run together". In the late 1970s and early 1980s, during what has come to be known as "The Jesus Era", many young Christians prayed that God would give them 'a hunger and thirst' for Him and for the Scriptures. This "hunger and thirst" that people prayed for was based on a line from the Beatitudes: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied".

Then, I have taken this prayer for a hunger and thirst, and translated it to the wording of one who truly loves her King: "Draw me, and we will run together".

If someone invites you to a guilt trip, say "NO!"

There's been a very unhealthy pattern going on in my relationship with my boyfriend. I only just noticed it in recent weeks. What he likes to do is get me feeling like an inadequate girlfriend. And then he pops it on me: "Do you have any money?"

When people set out to make you feel guilty, it usually doesn't end with you just feeling guilty. They usually want something more. Guilt trips begin when someone makes you feel that you are not doing enough for them. Now, if you are on the internet on a regular basis, you may have observed that the trend is, to encourage people to believe and understand, you are beautiful just the way you are. There is nothing lacking in  the way God created you. This is the message that many people are sharing, and I agree with it. No one should ever make you feel that you are not doing enough for them. Oftentimes, those people who make others feel guilty are manipulators, and they target people who are sensitive. They target people who feel bad that they can't make a donation to every ministry and agency that asks.

The first step in setting yourself free from senseless guilty feelings is to recognize what is going on. Identify a pattern in a relationship where you often find yourself feeling "Oh my goodness, I have done a terrible thing". Once you notice that this is happening frequently with someone, just confront them [as long as you do not fear that the person is or may become dangerous]. I have found that just bringing it out into the open usually stops the person in their tracks. And if handing out guilt trips as a pattern for someone you know, try to remember each time, that this is the person's pattern, and remind the person each time, that you are not going to accept that from them.

Now, I mentioned in brackets that things may have to be handled differently with someone who is dangerous. I have been around some dangerous people before, and what I have done is force myself to just completely "chill out", and go ahead and stand my ground and be firm about what I want and don't want. Be calm and be firm. That's my best advice for you. It has worked well for me.

Remember to be kind to yourself. If you notice that something is bothering you, and you are not feeling good inside, ask yourself, "How might I alleviate this unrest inside me?" And do what you can restore you to a feeling of comfort.

♬  Wilson Phillips: Hold On

My Soul Desire (Deniece Williams)

The gift of energy

And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.” *

I am sharing this Bible passage because it becomes clear here that there is a certain energy that is transferred from one person to another when help has been given. Here, Jesus did not even have to know that he had actually healed a woman who had been ill for many years. He did not know that. But he knew that power had gone out of him. He felt it. The reason I'm sharing this is to make the point that friendship can be tiring. And it involves an awareness that we may not receive back for the commitment that we have made.

Mostly what makes friendship tiring is that it requires concentration, sometimes intense concentration. I can only liken it to a game of ping-pong. When I was in college, we used to often play ping-pong just to see how long we could keep the volley going. In order to do that we had to watch where and how the person on the other end of the table was going to hit the ball. Simultaneously, we needed to be where the ball was going in order to paddle it back. And we did this for as long as we possibly could.

Translated to friendship, we can ask,
•What is it that my friend wants to share with me?
•Can I understand where he/she is coming from?
•Can I remember not to be judgemental?
•What is the best thing I can do or say to keep love flowing?

The combined energies of the people who are friends should make sure their own needs are being met, while also behaving in a way that is consistent with the standards they believe in.

* Luke 8:43-48

♬  Janis Joplin: Piece of my Heart

You Gotta Be (Des'ree)

Thick as a Brick (Jethro Tull)