Saturday, September 20, 2014

Jealousy, is it all that bad?

History carries throughout itself a variety of attitudes which are specific to different time periods or eras. For example, I was taught that during the time of the Puritans in early America, a man and a woman had to have an actual wooden division between them during a date to prevent them from getting intimate. So mortified were the Puritans at the concept of sex outside of marriage. Today, we are hardly putting up barriers between people when they date. Quite the opposite is true. Contraception, as well as aids for any type of sexual act someone might seek, are available for the asking.

But no, A True Friend is not getting on her beef tonight about premarital sex. I am just pointing out how very very different time periods in history can be. The subject tonight is, jealousy. I remember when I was a tweenager, and my best girlfriend Linda got her first kiss on the lips from a guy before I did, the envy built up inside me immensely.

What is jealousy and envy really? Part of it is comparing ourselves to others. Part of is feeling 'left behind' when a dear friend is prospering and we recognize, we do not have what our friend has. But I have tried in my own personal life just to come out sometimes and declare "I'M JEALOUS!" I've only been able to do it when it's a very small matter, because when there is a strong jealousy about something someone has, you get yelled at. In our age (era) jealousy is something that has to be covered up and concealed like a corpse when someone is afraid of being indicted for murder. Such is the shame associated with wanting something somebody else has.

Yes, one of the ten commandments is not to covet. But so are not to use God's name in vane, to honor the Sabbath day, many other commandments that we are unable to comply with. Let's take our jealousies out of the closet. Let us understand that jealousy, when someone has something we wish we had and do not, is completely normal. When we realize this, we can feel more comfortable with ourselves. If we accept that jealousy is a part of life, when we no longer feel mandated to keep it a deep dark secret, all kinds if friendships might form where we never would have believed they could!

Kim Hill: Mysterious Ways

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