Thursday, January 29, 2015

Keeping expectations realistic

As some of you may have noticed, last night I changed my name. For a few weeks now, it has been bothering my conscience that I've been presenting myself as "A True Friend". Here's how I came to understand that I cannot call myself that.

Though my ongoing friendships have been healthy, I noted that my words and actions, at times were likely to have disappointed my friends. I felt awful when I recognized this, and knowing that I had, and continue to make blunders in the area of friendship, I did not feel secure in presenting myself as "A True Friend".

As far as I'm concerned, there is only One Person who we can say is a purely true friend, and that would be Jesus Christ. My opinion is that God is someone we can trust fully. We never have to be puzzled about why He does the things He does. We can be fully convinced that there is a good purpose and reason, and we can thank Him, whatever the circumstances, because we know that it is pure love that propels Him.

Now that I no longer have to try and live up to the name, A True Friend, the reduced stress has freed me to actually be a better friend, both with those around me, and with God. I am glad to be able to introduce myself to you now as Just A Friend.

♬   Cheryl Lynn: Got to be Real


Friday, January 23, 2015

Situated for Patience

How many of you have understood the importance of making an effort to be patient? For me, I think I subconsciously saw how important patience was back in High School, when I wanted the guy I liked to make the first move toward a relationship, but kept convincing myself that it would not hurt to encourage him. It was my lack of faith and patience talking me into acting easy, and it actually ruined my chances.

But romantic relationships are not the only times when patience is badly needed. It is when we're in line at the store (or movies), when looking for the right moment to ask a parent or boss for something, when sitting at the doctor's (or dentist's) office, even when waiting those 9 months to have a child. I think though, at least here in America where I live, just about everybody understands how important it is to exercise patience on the job.

For me, in this new year, in a joking way but at the same time dead serious, I have expressed my wish to be a new person insofar as being in control of my anger and my temper, and those around me have congratulated me on the difference they have seen. I saw how damaging my old ways had been. I saw that quite often the result of my angry, and sometimes unkind words was not at all productive. I also realized it really was not my place to voice my criticisms of people. I was not their boss. I was not paying them. I was volunteering opinions that were inconsequential.

So, I recognized that my behavior was not getting the result I wanted. But I think what made the difference that people are seeing is my determination to be nicer. More than any adjective that people have used to describe me, I've been told that I am strong. So I applied my strength, along with my determination to getting a change made.

Today I had a kind of difficult day. But I realized that God cannot make miracles happen overnight. Sometimes, you've taught certain things, people have observed certain things, but they may not be ready to show you outwardly what you mean to them. It's like pulling something up on the computer. A number of destinations have to be contacted, and what your are waiting for needs to load before anything becomes visible.

♬   Twila Paris: I Commit My Love to You


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Making an effective resolution

How can a person make an effective resolution? First, they need to really and sincerely want change. But the important thing, which is difficult for many people, is to take full responsibility for ways of behaving which have not worked.

As many of my friends know, for many years I have been outraged about the behaviors of employees here where I reside, (which in case you are new to this blog, I am in a nursing home). So I took matters into my own hands. I asked myself the question: what can I do to make my life here more pleasant?

It kind of began one morning when someone came in to provide me with care, and for some reason the person annoyed me. I do not remember the specifics. But anyway, someone annoyed me, and I thought, I could yell and make sarcastic comments. But if I do, it will set in motion a karma that has the potential for destroying my entire day. So my question was, do I want to act in a way that will not be beneficial, and make me seem like a baby, or should I just do my best to be pleasant, and hopefully both me and this person caring for me can adjust our attitude?

And this, my friends, was the beginning of what I call "Raya in 2015: patient, polite, considerate". What I want to bring across to you though, is that I had the courage to face the fact that some of my own ways, were destructive, and also, self-destructive. I had to face the fact that some of my own ways of thinking about things, and ways of treating other people had to go.

Though I'm disabled, and could potentially be written off by much of society as a loser, I have continued to take an interest in life. I continued to be willing to change. I continued to learn from my mistakes, and move on. And I have continued to share with others the things that have worked for me, and what it was that didn't work. And I have a burning desire to help people avoid getting into the rut I found myself in on that sad January day 30 years ago, when I caused myself to become mobility impaired.

And so, now in 2015, when things happen that I'm not happy about, what I do is try and think of how I might turn it around. I avoid criticizing people and complaining and finding fault, things that only exacerbate a bad situation. But all of this friends, all began with making a straightforward, honest assessment of what things I have been doing that have not worked for me, and how I might replace actions that bring about negative results with actions that have potential to be helpful and positive.

Electric Light Orchestra: I'm Alive

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Look around, esteem the season, pray for discernment

The Byrds: Turn! Turn! Turn!

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Moving from eye to heart

This is the entire collection of 84 videos I created in 2014 which I called "Moving from eye to heart". It also now contains my first video in 2015, 'Satisfied' by Crystal Lewis.

Like the lessons children learn from educational toys, so God has given us marriage



This concept I could probably write a whole blog about. But the concept is simple and understandable, and I figured this image will suffice as a way to tell the story: Looking around for someone else when your marriage becomes challenging or dull can be fatal to your marriage, and ruin your whole life (particularly if there are children involved).

Every marriage introduces its difficulties over time. It is a way for us to learn about "give n take". It is a way for us to understand what it is to sacrifice our expectations and our pride. These are aspects of life that not only present themselves in marriage, but on the job, with the neighbors, with school, etc. And if God has been gracious enough to give us a spouse to help prepare us for the lessons of life, we should see it as a pure blessing!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

It is NEVER a bad time to approach God

So you cry
Feeling sorry for yourself
You say life treats you wrong
Until good times come along

Pain filling life
Until heartaches and pains
It wipes away the tears
And protects from the rain

Sometimes this life
Feels like
There's a weight on my shoulders
I find
In those times
That He's mine
When battles begin I just run to Him
It's only natural
That's all

We celebrate
Special times throughout the year
The love that we share
Secures from our fears
Hey, learn to enjoy
All the things life can bring
The good and the bad
Cause after winter comes spring

Sometimes this life
Feels like
There's a weight on my shoulders
I find
In those times
That He's mine
When battles begin I just run to Him
It's only natural

Open your eyes
And see the morning light
It's signs I'm beginning
A new life

When battles begin
You just turn to Him
Cause it's only natural

Only natural yeah

Oh, it's only it's only it's only natural
Oh my
It's only natural
It's only natural

♬  Bebe Winans and Keith Thomas: It's Only Natural