Clean and Loved

Giving breathing room

Friends who get along on a long-term basis are those who know how to laugh together. A good friend does not need disproportionate closeness. This is a fault I have. I mistakenly assume that in order to be good friends with someone, I have to bare my soul. I now am recognizing this about my approach to friendship, and I want to pray that I will find a way to change.

I want to laugh more with my friends. I want people to see me as a fun person to spend time with.

♬   The Disneyland Chorus: It's a Small World

His Name Is Wonderful

Anger Control - Some new ideas

Hi everyone! I tried something kinda different and wrote a blog using animated gifs. I'm excited! I couldn't wait to share it with you all. I hope you are enriched by the variety of concepts here.

Healing

Lord I Give You My Heart by Michael W.Smith

Catch the Guilt

Okay. Something has gone seriously wrong within a friendship. One friend very definitely wants the friendship to take on one shape  The other very definitely is against it, and does not at all want the friendship to take the shape that, we will call them 'Friend 1' and 'Friend 2'. Friend 2 does not at all want the kind of friendship Friend 1 is attempting to establish. And the struggle for the shape of this friendship can go on for years. And the friendship, though for the most part it is firmly grounded, can make both friends very unhappy and concerned at times.

Friendships can be so multifaceted. And loyalty can have one definition to friend 1, and a different definition to Friend 2. This makes it so that expectations are different, and the opinion on whether this friendship is satisfying or not sort of changes with the tide.

But I titled this blog, Catch the Guilt, and I will now explain why. The friendship between Friend 1 and Friend 2 that we are looking at, because expectations are different, will at times gravitate to a game, where Friend 1 tosses accusations to Friend 2 because of what he wants Friend 2 to put into the friendship, and then, Friend 2 tosses accusations back to Friend 1. And all because of illusions that both friends hold about what they think will make them happier and closer.

Obviously, when friends play this guilt game, they feel very uncomfortable, and these are not happy events within their friendship. So what do we do when the guilt ball is tossed at us by someone we love? Do we simply catch it, and allow our friend to express his/her anger? It's really not the worse response, but you have to be mature enough if you're going to accept your friend's accusations, and fully understand that this is something they feel, and you are free to make your own assessment as to how much validity what your friend thinks and feels has as far as you are concerned.

And so that's the skill that the game "Catch the Guilt" requires: maturity. When Catch the Guilt is taking place within a friendship frequently, let's be the friend that receives the ball of accusations, but doesn't give into the temptation to throw it back. Understand that this is a collection of expectations that your friend has created, and if they are not expectations that you include in your own personal goals, then I would just realize, even when friends are close, you and your friends are different people and there will always be times when you don't see eye to eye.

♬  Amy Grant: If These Walls Could Speak

Neither Will I

Happy Mother's Day to my mother, the Lord Jesus, and ALL MY FRIENDS EVERYWHERE

It's been a crazy Mother's Day weekend, and I'm starting to wonder, 'maybe it's not just me. Maybe it's all kinds of elements: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual congealing in an awkward, uncomfortable fashion all over the world. But whatever is happening, I made three posts, originally on my audioshare website which many who frequent this blog might be familiar with. Then I decided I just want all the people I know and love to see them. So here, I have embedded the posts from my Just A Friend, Facebook page. Enjoy! And Happy Mother's Day.

A little program for everybody tonight

Posted by Just A Friend on Saturday, May 9, 2015

Expressing loyalty first my mother, and now to God

Posted by Just A Friend on Saturday, May 9, 2015

Lastly, to friendship, and also Andre

Posted by Just A Friend on Saturday, May 9, 2015

If My People (The King's Heralds)

For National Day of Prayer. In this verse found in the book of Chronicles (I think it's 2 Chronicles 7:14, we are told exactly what to do in order to see better days.

God Will Take Care Of You

An important thing to bring to a friendship

What is the worst thing that happens in friendship? Wouldn't it have to be a disagreement or a fight? Some say no. Some say that for a friendship to be healthy there will be times when you argue and fight. Now I don't know what you would think of my own style of friendship, but I try to avoid struggling with my friends. To me, if you really value your friend(s), when you see an argument about to start, you will make an effort to do it their way. My personal opinion is: in a perfect friendship, both friends (or however many friends be involved in the friendship) defer for the other (or the rest). It would be more important to me to see you happy and comfortable than to get my way.

This is something that I think I bring to a friendship. I want my friends to feel comfortable. But there is more involved in avoiding a disagreement than just giving your friends their way. Another part of being at peace with your friends is: accepting what they can give you, and accepting what they cannot give you. In my childhood I gave my friend Linda a hard time. "How could you do that to me? You're supposed to be my best friend!" I made her feel like her friendship was inadequate, only because she could not give me the extent of friendship that I held as a standard. No. I no longer behave like this. I understand that everybody sees friendship differently, and everybody sees what they're supposed to give, and what they can expect to get very differently. So these kinds of arguments where I say "Some friend!" never occur anymore. What they give is what they give. And I can choose to give what I consider to be more than what they give, or not so much. But I respect whatever they bring, whether it's as much as I have given or not. I love my friends, and ideally, I have compassion that this is what they feel comfortable giving, and their comfort, as I said in the beginning, is more important to me than my own.

And so, friendship is about experiencing love, and when different things are important in experiencing love to one friend than to another, my advice, as Always Your Friend, is to let others be the ones to decide on how to achieve a comfort level. And once a comfort level is achieved, with some time, the sky's the limit. Different choices and options will show themselves, and you might just get the things that you have been hoping for (quietly) all along.

♬   Tina Turner: I Don't Wanna Fight