What does a person who takes the position of Friend seriously do, when she is totally frustrated and pissed off? Yes this kind of question is, as my mother used to say, separates the men from the boys (or the girls from the women). I am here feeling like I have had it!!!!!
A girl who has NO BRAIN manipulated situations to try to alienate my boyfriend Andre from me and I from him. We had done nothing to bring this about, and she had nothing to gain from doing it. But this was just at the tail end of issues about the place where I'm staying, which has brought me to the end of my rope, and I'm irritated! And so, how do I handle it?
Well, to tear away any illusion I may have created that I am the patron saint of friendship, I'll be honest: I gave the bitch a piece of my mind! So that's one benefit of creating good friendships. You feel secure enough in your friends, that you feel confident about your ability to communicate and defend yourself when the time comes.
Now, soon after some of this had occured, my Dad came came to visit, as we had been planning. Here's a temptation that's very very common: to freak out on those who we know love us and need us. And just as my Dad arrived and walked around a little trying to figure out what was going on, it came to me. "Raya, please don't hurt your father and your boyfriend for things that are in the past, that they had little or nothing to do with, and very very importantly COULDN'T HELP". Therefore, though the beginning of my visit with my Dad was somewhat awkward, I reassured him that I was at peace with the way I was managing things, and we ended up having a nice time.
And so, how do I sum all this up? I would like to give you some suggestions as to how to react when people are driving you up the wall. What I can say is, your battle is really with yourself. Are you going to express your anger creatively or destructively? The first thing I did was tell the perpetrator exactly what I thought of her attitude. I displayed my rage
a. Directly with the person who was the source of it
and
b. Immediately after the incident that caused it
Very very important people! Infinitely important.
Consequently, the rest of the events of my day just flowed. I continued to insure that certain injustices will stop occurring by speaking to a supervisor who I feel close to about some of my concerns, and I am hoping they will be addressed.
I jotted down a short prayer, and I decided to try a new app, and turn my prayer into an image. This is something I was just completing when my Dad came, and he liked it.
A practice I believe in, and I see my boyfriend making it a rule for himself as well, is to stay productive. Anger is a natural part of the heart and mind. We should not feel shame for things that are a natural part of who we are. If we accept our anger, then it is more likely that we will handle it appropriately. Whatever is going on in your life, seek to share the the truth of your heart with people. Is there any way you can fail, if you do this?
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