A good friend can raise the dead - A sequel to "What Matters Most", which I wrote on my birthday

Hello friends. I want to begin this blog with a copy of a post from my Instagram, which I posted on September 30, the day after my birthday:

Well I'm awake, and I woke up and remembered how selfish people were yesterday. So unfortunate for those who truly and sincerely wanted me to have a good day. And I don't know where to go from here. And those who wanted me to cease and desist with all my nice projects are going to have their way. They would love nothing more than to see me give up, and I have given up. I'm scared that I'll probably go to Hell, and I am scared. And that is the only thing. Cause after knowing how severe suffering can get, I can only begin to imagine what Hell will be like. Look, I wanna apologize to the ones who care about me, but you have placed your money on the wrong horse. I didn't have the strength to make it to the finish line. Let my enemies and haters rejoice!

A photo posted by A Friend of God ☝ (@afriendlyhumanbeing) on Sep 30, 2015 at 4:36am PDT

The mood that comes out in this post, is the mood of a heart that has been put to death. And shortly after this that I shared, I ended up calling a good friend in administration and crying "I want to kill myself!", after which immediately 3 people came to my room: she, the manager of the unit I'm on, and shortly after that, my psychologist came and I talked to her, and settled down a good bit. But I want to tell you what I shared with the psychologist, and why I settled down.

I told my psychologist that "I believe God can raise the dead. I believe God can bring to life that which has died." And I shared a couple of scriptures with her regarding that. Particularly important to me was the well known Bible verse that says "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart, that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved". And I told the psychologist that I do. I firmly do believe in my heart that God has raised him from the dead. And this is what gives me hope.

Well, I still lay here very depressed and very unmotivated. I didn't even feel like touching my phone and usually I'm always working on one project or another. And suddenly, a little after lunch time, someone said with a smile, "Raya, special delivery!" Well, I looked, and it occurred to me a little but I thought "couldn't be Andre". Andre was another resident in this building until a short while ago, and he and I had fallen very much in love and had been going steady for over 13 years, and basically considered ourselves common-law married. So I looked up. And first I saw his mother, and I thought well maybe it was just his mother stopping by to say hello. But THEN ... THERE HE WAS! My man!!! And it was exactly like the story about how Jesus raised his friend Lazarus from the dead! The Bible tells us that Jesus stood in front of the cave Lazarus's tomb was placed in and shouted "Lazarus! Come forth!" And immediately Lazarus, a dead man, came walking out of the cave, alive and whole. And the moment I saw Andre coming in my door, it was like BOOM! What was dead just moments before, was all the way back to life!

That is what love can do my friends. No amount of wealth can do that. No amount of fame can do that. No amount of intelligence or talent can do that. Only love.

♬   Uncle Sam: When I See You Smile