Trying to be a little specific with my title here, only because I'm saying, help those you know personally and come into contact with regularly. If I donated to every worthy cause that asked I would be bankrupt for life! So I want to limit my remarks to helping people we know. So, let's hit it: should we help people, and if so, how?
Many many years ago there was an incident in New York City. A young woman was brutally raped and killed, and research showed afterwards, that it could have been avoided. The woman was screaming and crying for help very loudly. And many people around heard her screams. But, and this was an unprecedented event, they did absolutely nothing. They didn't even pick up the phone and call 911. Later, when these people who heard and maybe even saw the crime were questioned, "Why didn't you try to help?" The unanimous answer was "I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED". This incident, all the way back in the 1960s, shocked the entire nation. However, most unfortunately, it seemed to set an example of indifference toward other people's pain, which has remained until this day. From that time on, people decided that it was 'OK' not to get involved. Personally, I am troubled as can be about this type of attitude.
My policy is: ALWAYS GET INVOLVED. If you see someone hurting, and you are in a position to alleviate their pain, help, absolutely! Now, how to help, and why. First of all, your friend, your coworker, your acquaintance, and even someone you see as an enemy, may be hiding their pain. There might be something in their life which they are keeping a secret, and it is causing their behavior to seem offensive. Always assume... or even know, that offensive behavior comes from a troubled mind. And how do we respond to a troubled mind? We do what we can to help. In my dealings with people in my personal life, invariably, when I ask someone who is being mean, "you must be tired... ", I suggest, I always find out that the person has a headache, often when they open up they say they have been getting headaches and they're worried about it. Sometimes I find out that they're worried about a family member, for example a child who's being left with a babysitter, or a sick parent... All these issues in people's lives can show themselves as aggressive behavior. So we need to be really really careful before responding back in an aggressive way. Could be that the last thing someone needs is more worries.
And so, I say, the best thing we can do for someone who needs our help is to pray for them. We can get on that wireless communication of just closing our eyes and trying to connect to God, and praying about that person's concern, whatever they have told us about. Or even if we do not know what is on their mind, if they are frowning, and irritable, we know that there is some type of problem. By praying for someone we can deepen our intimacy with what the he or she is going through, and guess what the result of that is? FRIENDSHIP!
Next, I would say, just be gentle. People are sensitive. Try not to step in in such a way that would hit a nerve or be upsetting to them. Personally, as I said, I find what works for me is to just verbally hinting my concern, and usually that opens up the communication. And once communication is opened up, the hostility will melt. Good communication does away hard feelings.
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