Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Getting off of other people's sins, and onto their strengths

This here can make life so much easier. I want to get my focus back on friendship. Friendship is not about changing people, it's about accepting them and loving them right where they are. And this applies to our world view. We should not be aiming to change the world. Rather, our highest hope should be to find meaningful friendships, and enjoy life.

See, a few days ago, I found out that someone close to me is doing something unwholesome. At first, I was completely shocked. I felt hurt that my own ideals and the way I've chosen to live meant so little to him. And earlier today, I realized something. My friends' sins are none of my business. This person loves me and I love him as well, and anything he does that really has no affect on me or our friendship, there is no reason for me to involve myself in. How freeing is that?

Let us stop seeking to fit people into our mold. Matter-of-fact, we probably should toss the mold in the garbage. Even fitting ourselves into it every day gets awfully tedious! Let us, as we seek to make friends, not go into it with an attitude that we're going to go straight for finding out their weakness and teach them how to be like us. That's not friendship. It's fixing people. Being in a fixing position with people is really a drag, isn't it?

Instead, let us meet people with the thought that we will find out all the cool things about them. Let us look to know what makes them happy. Let us find out what foods they like, what sports they like, what actors and musicians they like. I bet there are amazing things to be found out about everybody.

I think what happened to me many years ago, is that I felt so utterly unloved, that something inside me died. And after that, I coped by deciding that I was going to play "the sage". And I pictured in my mind that I was going to sit in my apartment in this enlightened state of mind, and that everybody was going to come to my door, and I would know exactly what Bible verse to share, and their lives would be changed forever. It was my broken heart that caused me to create that in my mind.

Do you think maybe we get hopelessly hurt in love, and our need to fantasize is birthed, and we decide: we're going to be a billionaire, we're going to marry our favorite singer, we're going to become an important world figure? Not only are these things unlikely to happen, but even if they should, they don't remove the original problem, a broken heart.

A broken, lonely heart needs love. There was a time when I was very very broken. And I tried achieving my own little agenda. But it only made things worse. Because indeed I don't know the solution to everybody's problems, neither individually or collectively. What I need is the courage to ask you to be my friend. To like something about me in a real way.

♬    Michelle TumesDo Ya

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