Friday, March 20, 2015

Interpreting people's decisions in a friendly and accurate way

I want to share with you an experience I had many years ago while I was waiting for the bus. Many years ago, I had to travel by wheelchair accessible bus on a cold, rainy day. There was something I had to do to hold onto my apartment, and that particular day happened to be the deadline for getting forms in, and such.

I had fairly thorough experience traveling by wheelchair accessible bus, and so I got ready, and off I went to the welfare office. Now, I (miraculously) got everything done that I needed to do. It was an icy rain, and the streets were slippery, and fortunately God had sent someone who knew me to the exact block I was trying to push myself down. So I had help.

Now, what I want to share about is, when I was done all my traveling, and I went to wait for the bus back home. I made it back to the bus stop, but the weather worsened. It began to, as we put in my family "rain cats and dogs". In other words the rain was coming down furiously. Back then, not every bus had a wheelchair lift, and many buses passed by, and no wheelchair lift. Then. Finally, a bus stopped that had a wheelchair lift. And this is what happened: I asked the driver to pull up a certain way so that I could board the bus more safely and comfortably, and after that, he pulled off without getting me. What do you guys think of that? Because I bet you I have a very different way of looking at it.

The people standing at the bus stop with me were furious with that driver, they thought what he did was wicked and ignorant. But I did not think so. I could understand that he had a reason for pulling off like that. Look, I had been waiting a good long time in terrible weather. Bus after bus had passed that was impossible to board. At last, one special driver stopped for me. And I decided to be choosy about the positioning of the bus? Not realistic. I had a special opportunity; I finally had something I'd been waiting for. Not a time to fuss about details. And particularly not a time to fuss about details for a person in a minority group, a person with a mobility impairment.

I told the others at the bus stop, but they disagreed, they continued to say awful things about that bus driver. I still think he taught me a very valuable lesson: jump on your opportunities when they come, whether they are wrapped in ribbons and bows or not.

But there is more to why I am sharing this experience with you. I sat at the bus stop with no bitterness about having to be out on a rainy day. I sat patiently without seeking to blame anyone for my situation. I wasn't looking for reasons why I could claim I got cut a raw deal in life. I sat there, fully accepting where I was at. I sat there, ready to see everyone as my friend.

 ♬   Amy Grant: That's What Love is For


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