Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Forgiveness is not a natural inclination

This is going to be a special blog. First of all because I want to pour out my heart, and secondly because I want to talk about a subject that's at the core of being a friend, and at the same time being a Christian.

Last night was a horrible night for me. The staff assigned to care for me behaved in a shockingly irresponsible manner. And although I thought that in the process of becoming more like Jesus over the years I had given up many things, and that I had lost much and been broken, last night my pride once again, needed to chipped away. The situation, I really don't want to go into the details, maybe on another blog.

But this is the thing: I was wronged. I was deprived of my medication, my wound treatment, and other responsibilities that the pm nurse has with me. And though I tried to get help, nobody did anything to help me get my care. People behaved as if they were above the law. The concept of law, and the law are different now. Things have changed a great deal. And I feel very vindictive about it what happened. But guess what? As a Christian I am to put those thoughts away. Hate the sin. But love the sinner. And as I think about the nurse who was supposed to work with me, I know she grew up in a very different type of environment than I, and I'm just so frustrated that no matter what I try to tell myself about it all, I just keep going back to thoughts of wanting to see the people involved suffer.

So, what to do? We are told in the Bible to take "every thought captive to to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). Let me tell you, my thoughts are often not good at all. I very easily get jealous and feel threatened, in addition to this latest situation I'm telling you about, where forgiveness just won't come. But there's a lot of things I need to do and should do. If I didn't have the trampoline of Christ's grace to bounce into when I fall, I do not know what I would do.

♬  Rob Thomas: Her Diamonds

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