An unlikely place for Love

Probably some of you know that I am living in slightly unfortunate circumstances. I live in an assisted living residence, which is a euphemism for a nursing home. The folks that work with us here are not under pressure to provide us with sophisticated care. However, I have lived here for over ten years, and I have bonded strongly with a good number of the workers. I have a boyfriend here as well, but this writing is not about him. I want to talk about something I experienced yesterday morning.

Yesterday morning, after I ate breakfast, I went to recline the back of my bed down from a sitting position, and it would not recline. I thought it was something simple to fix, because it had happened before. Make a long story short, the part that handles the recline of my bed was broken. I am paralyzed from the waist down, therefore I had to sit in one spot, till it could be fixed.

Turned out no one on the premises could fix it, and the on-call maintenance person had to be contacted. I knew their approach to handling my problems, and I knew it would be a long wait. But I was ready.

I was ready to "fight the good fight of faith". The workers would create the illusion that no one cared about my pain, my tears meant nothing to people, that it was funny to see a cripple trying to win control over something that in reality they had no control over. From their point of view, it was an opportunity to, as a song by Stevie Nicks says, "make me cry, make me break down, shatter my illusions of love". But, I too, was ready. You see, to live the Christian life properly, a person needs to develop a high pain tolerance. And I have learned that a good method of tolerating pain is to anticipate ahead of time exactly what it will feel like.

So the morning hours went by, and no fuss from me about, "Why hasn't maintenance arrived yet?" See, I took responsibility for my own conduct, as well as the conduct of others. By not griping, I prevented all of us from going lower into our sinfulness and low self-esteem. Though others were not prepared to be friendly, my acceptance and forgiveness compensated for their lack.

I have talked to women who had complicated child delivery. They told me that they virtually ignored the pain because their concern was about the safety of their child. Firefighters sacrifice their lives in the process of rescuing others. It is all in the category of selflessness. A good friend is more concerned about others than about.him or her self.

Trace Balin: We Need Each Other