An important thing to bring to a friendship

What is the worst thing that happens in friendship? Wouldn't it have to be a disagreement or a fight? Some say no. Some say that for a friendship to be healthy there will be times when you argue and fight. Now I don't know what you would think of my own style of friendship, but I try to avoid struggling with my friends. To me, if you really value your friend(s), when you see an argument about to start, you will make an effort to do it their way. My personal opinion is: in a perfect friendship, both friends (or however many friends be involved in the friendship) defer for the other (or the rest). It would be more important to me to see you happy and comfortable than to get my way.

This is something that I think I bring to a friendship. I want my friends to feel comfortable. But there is more involved in avoiding a disagreement than just giving your friends their way. Another part of being at peace with your friends is: accepting what they can give you, and accepting what they cannot give you. In my childhood I gave my friend Linda a hard time. "How could you do that to me? You're supposed to be my best friend!" I made her feel like her friendship was inadequate, only because she could not give me the extent of friendship that I held as a standard. No. I no longer behave like this. I understand that everybody sees friendship differently, and everybody sees what they're supposed to give, and what they can expect to get very differently. So these kinds of arguments where I say "Some friend!" never occur anymore. What they give is what they give. And I can choose to give what I consider to be more than what they give, or not so much. But I respect whatever they bring, whether it's as much as I have given or not. I love my friends, and ideally, I have compassion that this is what they feel comfortable giving, and their comfort, as I said in the beginning, is more important to me than my own.

And so, friendship is about experiencing love, and when different things are important in experiencing love to one friend than to another, my advice, as Always Your Friend, is to let others be the ones to decide on how to achieve a comfort level. And once a comfort level is achieved, with some time, the sky's the limit. Different choices and options will show themselves, and you might just get the things that you have been hoping for (quietly) all along.

♬   Tina Turner: I Don't Wanna Fight