Well, it is Saturday night, actually Easter Sunday morning in my time zone, and since I know probably many of you who read this blog are in need of friendship, I came here tonight to tell you, I am in need of friendship. I should feel ashamed because I have many people in my life who are loving and supportive. But I'm tired of feeling ashamed. if I am failing at life, if I am failing to "do it" for the people in my life, then it is what it is. I try to live as selflessly as I am able.
This morning recognizes the man who will save me one day from this veil of tears. And let me tell you, I love Him sooo much. I have been sharing in His feelings of rejection, helplessness, and this exasperation with being stuck inside flesh, which never stops nagging me about things I just wish I didn't have to deal with.
What made me so sad this evening was I happened to look at a series of photos I took of my boyfriend. I did a poor job with those photos, and I could see how unhappy I made him when I kept thinking they were too blurry, and he was trying so hard to keep a happy expression on his face. And now on Saturday I didn't hear from him at all. As I share this with you I'm picturing your reaction as being "Yes, it is sad".
I don't know how to talk to people and I don't know how to treat people. It makes me miss my mom because she always had something compassionate and understanding to say about every situation.
All I can say is I am thankful for people who care for me and want me in their lives. And I need to say, I am thankful for Christ's death on the cross for me, and better yet, that afterwards he beat death. He was stronger than death. The one who IS.
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