Neediness and friendship

What is neediness? Merriam-Webster defines it as

    : not having enough money, food, etc., to live properly

: needing a lot of attention, affection, or emotional support

April is the month my mother passed away (3 years ago), and therefore, this is a month in which I miss her, and feel particularly needy. Also though, I have noticed that when 2 needy people get together, there are high expectations of one another, and it is next to impossible to get along.

An acutely needy person will resort to tactics as a cry for help, and their tactics often tend to alienate them from people. When people are indirect about what is disturbing them, they get misunderstood, and I will say it: disliked. So when a person reaches an intense form of neediness, their communication skills wain, and they do not get the very thing they are most in need of: reassurance and affection.

I was in psychotherapy for many years, and I still periodically see a psychologist. As a result of my understanding and accepting that I had a problem and needed help, I communicated very well with those who were there to help me. I developed good introspection skills, and came to understand the dynamics of my own neediness. Active participation in therapy, as well as faithfulness in taking my meds, and 30-40 years later, I think most people would say I'm a well-adjusted woman.

If you are unhappy in your life, and are experiencing paranoid thoughts, or if your present circumstances are particularly difficult, I would recommend that you seek help. Rather than letting it make you ineffective at the workplace or with your family, seek someone who you can talk to. The way I look at it, of you don't, you, as well as your relationships are only likely to get worse.

♬   The Beatles: We Can Work It Out