If someone invites you to a guilt trip, say "NO!"

There's been a very unhealthy pattern going on in my relationship with my boyfriend. I only just noticed it in recent weeks. What he likes to do is get me feeling like an inadequate girlfriend. And then he pops it on me: "Do you have any money?"

When people set out to make you feel guilty, it usually doesn't end with you just feeling guilty. They usually want something more. Guilt trips begin when someone makes you feel that you are not doing enough for them. Now, if you are on the internet on a regular basis, you may have observed that the trend is, to encourage people to believe and understand, you are beautiful just the way you are. There is nothing lacking in  the way God created you. This is the message that many people are sharing, and I agree with it. No one should ever make you feel that you are not doing enough for them. Oftentimes, those people who make others feel guilty are manipulators, and they target people who are sensitive. They target people who feel bad that they can't make a donation to every ministry and agency that asks.

The first step in setting yourself free from senseless guilty feelings is to recognize what is going on. Identify a pattern in a relationship where you often find yourself feeling "Oh my goodness, I have done a terrible thing". Once you notice that this is happening frequently with someone, just confront them [as long as you do not fear that the person is or may become dangerous]. I have found that just bringing it out into the open usually stops the person in their tracks. And if handing out guilt trips as a pattern for someone you know, try to remember each time, that this is the person's pattern, and remind the person each time, that you are not going to accept that from them.

Now, I mentioned in brackets that things may have to be handled differently with someone who is dangerous. I have been around some dangerous people before, and what I have done is force myself to just completely "chill out", and go ahead and stand my ground and be firm about what I want and don't want. Be calm and be firm. That's my best advice for you. It has worked well for me.

Remember to be kind to yourself. If you notice that something is bothering you, and you are not feeling good inside, ask yourself, "How might I alleviate this unrest inside me?" And do what you can restore you to a feeling of comfort.

♬  Wilson Phillips: Hold On