I actually am specifically talking about a friendship with a relative. You also might have relatives that you are mandated to keep company with, but every time you see them they make you feel horrible.
My Dad, who was for these past few months my pride and joy, has disappointed me deeply. I feel sad about it. But I have a hunch at this point, that now that he has lost control of his temper the way he used to do for many years, there is no going back to the joy that we have been experiencing.
But the beauty of being a true friend is that no matter what the hardship, a true friend is true. Rather than just getting disgusted and throwing out her value system, a true friend adapts. Whatever the situation, the question is, how can I be the best friend I can be under these circumstances?
I am seeing that, at 84 years old (he will be 84 in November), and by me being his daughter, there is almost no chance that I will change him. But his character is not my responsibility. As friends, we are not responsible for other people's friendship styles. Our responsibility is however, to guard our hearts from hurt. We can remain a true friend to someone, even when they do not know as much as we do about what friendship means. But we must detach from them emotionally.
Not easy to change the way we react to someone, especially a relative who is well aware of our tender spots. But there are times when we must make a serious effort to do it. When we see anyone becoming a threat to our happiness, we need to adjust the picture in our minds of the kind of friend the person is. Like everything in life, friendship is a learning process. We learn our friends. We learn how much of ourselves we can afford to give to each of our friends individually.
♬ Helen Reddy: Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady
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