My nurse's aide just opened up the subject. And this very definitely is the next step we take as true friends. I've talked for a long, long time about what makes a good friend, and how to develop good friendships. But this here must be a component in friendship if we want a friendship to last: tolerance.
You see, I treated my aide unkindly last night, and I feared that today she was going to be angry. I'll back up and say, I could tell that my words and actions hurt her feelings. And it was wise of her to allow me to see that. You see, I had already opened up on the subject of my insensitivity, that I was aware of it and concerned about it. So today I wanted to let her know that I felt bad for hurting her.
What she answered I felt was the essence of friendship. She said it was fine, that she was familiar with how I get sometimes, and you gotta take the bitter with the sweet. She expressed that she valued me as a friend, and was not going to allow the way I behaved to make her feel bitter towards me.
...and I have to confess, this was the next step in my recovery! I needed someone to stop using my weaknesses to threaten me! To stop making me feel as if I was hugely indebted to them for putting up with me!
And so, a very important part of friendship is that when love is sincere, it cannot be shaken by one or the other person's mistakes. Mistakes are part of being human. If we really wanna have friends, real friends, than part of keeping a friendship going is resolve. And the tough part of this is knowing there will be times when they will hurt our feelings. There will be times when we hurt them. But we keep it going.
♬ Suzi Quarto and Chris Norman: Stumblin' In
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